Today I experienced my second extremely vivid dream steeped in Nick Jr. drama. It was not upsetting when Matt Dillon was selling me ninja turtle weapons from the back of an unmarked white van in UmiCity. Well, it was a little disturbing. I mean, I was having serious, urgent conversations with tiny animated characters in a vacant parking lot while pretending not to be star-struck by Matt. But that is nothing compared to today.
I will preface this by saying that I am ashamed.
So, I am sleeping on the couch this morning while Gabe watches cartoons. While last time he was watching Team Umizoomi, this time it was Blue's Clues. The old ones with Steve. Here's Steve:
Right. So, here begins a very realistic dream in which I am involved in a game of Blue's Clues in my super-lux house. And during this game, which is being played amid regular real-life activities, I start falling for Steve. But, I'm married to Andy in my dream, and I am aware that this is an inappropriate situation. But it's too late - Steve and I are falling for each other. The dream was totally filled with that charged energy and atmosphere, all romantic and forbidden. But we don't get an opportunity to discuss it at length because some jerk finds the third clue. Then the last song starts playing, "Now, it's time for so long...." and Steve looks at me all upset and says, "I have to go. The song is playing."
Right. So, here begins a very realistic dream in which I am involved in a game of Blue's Clues in my super-lux house. And during this game, which is being played amid regular real-life activities, I start falling for Steve. But, I'm married to Andy in my dream, and I am aware that this is an inappropriate situation. But it's too late - Steve and I are falling for each other. The dream was totally filled with that charged energy and atmosphere, all romantic and forbidden. But we don't get an opportunity to discuss it at length because some jerk finds the third clue. Then the last song starts playing, "Now, it's time for so long...." and Steve looks at me all upset and says, "I have to go. The song is playing."Yeah, I know, people! This is crazy! I mean it is crazy because I was totally having vivid feelings in my dream about this dude. But wait, it ain't over yet:
I tell Andy I am going to walk Steve out to his car. As soon as we step on the front porch and I close the door, hot, forbidden Steve leans against me and puts his cheek against my cheek, and, I mean, it was totally HOT. It gets worse. In my dream, I actually think to myself (this is where my shame is overwhelming), "Man, I wish this was a dream so I could have an affair with Steve and it would be okay." STEVE, people! STEVE! AAAAAAAAAAAGHGHGHGHGH!
So, I wake up at this point. Probably a good thing or I wouldn't have been able to blog about it. And honestly, I don't want to know if I would throw away my marriage for a former Nick Jr. star. I'm awake, and sure enough, there was Steve on the tv, finding clues, unaware of what was about to be between us. And dang it if I didn't think to myself, "Shoot! It really was a dream - I could have kissed him!"
Nevermind that I do not find Steve from Blue's Clues attractive. Let it be known that in my dream, he had morphed somewhat into a more attractive fellow. And, in case you are wondering, Liz already asked me if he was wearing the green striped shirt. No. But he was wearing the khakis.
