Thanks y'all. And the social security office is the waiting room for hell.

I received such kindness and love and encouragement from my dear friends, so I really want you to know that I appreciate it, and it helped me. I did indeed stop crying shortly after I actually found my calendar hanging on the bulletin board where I apparently thought it would be visible.

Today, however, was the day I actually went to request a new social security card at the social security office. Let me first say that I went to the county clerk's office for a new birth certificate, and I was there for 20 minutes tops. I left with the document and a fancy-pants envelope to put it in and NOT LOSE IT AGAIN. The SS office was not the same experience.

You come in (with three kids) to a very large waiting room that looks a great deal like the waiting area at your gate in an airport (I'm sure you can feel me on this, Lori). This security guard dude is standing under a sign that says, "Check In Here First" or something very near that. So, I do. I walk right up and say, "What do I do? I'm here to get a social security card." He says, "Fill out this form." The form is sitting right there under a sign that says, "New/Replacement Social Security Cards." Since I had already seen this sign, I was just being polite by checking in. It seemed pretty pointless. Until he gave me my NUMBER. The one thing that will get you out of the hell hole up to the window to get your business taken care of. Okay. Got it.

What I didn't get was the sign on the way in that said, "No cell phones." Alright, I get to the part of the form that asks for the daddy's social security number, and of course I don't know it. I mean, I don't know where my calendar is, so what do you expect? I go to call him. No phone. So I rush my kids out to the car to get it. All the while, I'm totally worried I'm going to miss my number. The number system isn't simple. I mean, it isn't "Now serving 74," and you are 83 and know that you have to wait for 9 people. It is "Ticket number M274, please report to window number 23." Along with, "Ticket number H37, please report to window number 9." AND "Mrs. Blah blah blah, please report to window number WHO THE FREAK CARES BECAUSE WE ARE ALL SO CONFUSED!" Um, I think I was a little low on patience. Seriously, though, I had to go up to the window(s) twice to see if they had just called my number b/c I couldn't hear what they had said.

So, I come back in calling Andy. Trying to keep the kids contained on three chairs and still hear the announcements. Security guard, "Ma'am, you can't use cell phones here." Uh oh. Sorry! I hear Andy trying to give me his SSN as the guard is asking me what my business is about. So, I tell him. My husband, his number, your form. Well, as it turns out, even the security guard knows that this can be done with just the mom's number.

While this exchange is taking place - and as I'm hanging up on Andy - Gabe has slipped off the chair. He is running in circles about 5 feet away singing, "Limbo limbo limbo!" (This, Claire informs me, he learned from that big purple dinosaur named Ernie.
What's wrong with my kids?) So, I start to get up to grab him, and the security guard who is still in my face says, "Is he yours?" Yes. "He can't be doing that." And here is me about to go postal. But all I say is, "I know. I'm taking care of it. I couldn't do it because I was TALKING TO YOU." No lie. He just walked away. And I just looked at the two ladies sitting next to us who were staring shamelessly, and I said, "That just made me real mad." They laughed and played with my kids. I love them.

Hey, I know we are an obnoxious crowd sometimes. Kids are kids. And mine weren't being awful. They were wiggly, but they were mostly happy and talking quietly. ONE little limbo contest and BAM! Some dude feels the need to earn a government paycheck and crack down on a TWO year old.

So, that's it. I was peeved, but in the way that you know it'll make a funny story later. Well, at least in my head. I can still here me saying, "because I was TALKING TO YOU!"

Oh, and I've lost my calendar, too. Typical.

This SUCKS!

I am sitting here crying. I totally suck. Why can't I keep up with crap? I have no birth certificate for Claire. I have no social security card for Claire. How the CRAP am I supposed to register her for kindergarten without these things? Blood sacrifices? Voo doo? And now the horrible tasks of replacing them. And no guarantee that they will arrive before school. And NO help from the federal social security office. Their website says "Sure, documents from the doctor or religious certificates like baptism, for example, are just fine." The customer service representative says, "Gee, hmm, I don't know if those will fly. Call the local office." NO PHONE NUMBER FOR THE LOCAL OFFICE. Yeah, the website says try the customer federal government number before you COME IN. I JUST TRIED THEM. THEY ARE WORTHLESS FOOLS WHO CONTROL OUR RETIREMENT, SO START STUFFING YOUR MATTRESSES WITH CASH!

And all my kids are in time out. They've been neglected all morning while I've been on the phone with the STUPID STUPID government. I've locked myself in my room while they scream because the voice-recognition feature of the social security office keep saying, "I"m sorry. I didn't understand your answer." Yeah, because "MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY!" isn't a standard answer in the social security department.

Forgive any typos in this blog. I'm typing with m;y eyes shut b/c I'm crying so much. Nobody call or come over. I've got a dear friend on the way.

Sunday Stress

Since we had an unscheduled week out of town, I am beginning to freak out about upcoming events. I still have to register Claire for kinder, which requires the location of all kinds of ridiculous and important documents. I'm surprised they don't ask for the pregnancy test. Here's the actual, factual list:

Birth certificate
Social security card
Immunization record (they've just added new shots, so crap.)
Deed, lease or mortgage agreement
Current utility bill
Texas drivers license

See what I mean?

So, I'm currently postponing all planning and looking for a way to escape the house.

Saturday Seven

Inspired by Court's blog, here are seven things I really liked about this week:

1. Coming home!
2. Doing some living family history.
   
3. Eight girl cousins sitting on the couch in a row captivated by "Beauty and the Beast."
4. Monopoly Deal.
   
5. Not puking.
   
6. Constellation exhibit at the Tulsa Zoo (yes, I liked something at a zoo.)
7. Sleeping with my son.
   

Catharine Mary Brown Ruggles

Andy's grandmother passed away early Sunday morning. We are here in Bartlesville, Oklahoma for her funeral. It's the first grandparent Andy has been close to that has passed away, so please keep him in your thoughts.

Grandma Ruggles was a firecracker! She was 86 when she passed, and she still lit up a room. I'm thankful I got to be part of her family for that past 10 years, and I'm so glad that my kids got to see her a few times. She welcomed me into the family with love and friendship - she shared so many family history stories. I'm especially grateful for that since it is part of my children's heritage. I love that I'll be able to tell them stories that their great-grandmother told me.

The really incredible part of this trip is that almost everyone in Andy's family is here for the funeral! Of his 7 siblings, only Adam who, is on a full-time mission in South America, is absent. Even his sister who lives in South Africa is serendipitously in the country at this time.

So, Andy and his siblings and cousins are having fun hanging out, and my kids and their second cousins are hanging out. And I am having fun hanging out with everyone.

So, we'll see everyone on Sunday. Love you guys!

I'm getting really excited about...

...my brother's wedding in August! (Dang! I still need to buy my plane ticket!)

Hey, New Sister in Law - my Already Sister in Law saw your picture, and she called me just to tell me how utterly gorgeous you are. I concur. In fact, I told her how you are even more beautiful in real life. Honestly, David, you are awesome, but still - how'd you score this one?!



I'm also really excited about buying school supplies. Love it, love it, love it.


Anybody know why Kathleen Turner is uncredited in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" Jessica Rabbit isn't in the credits anywhere. I can't find out on google or bing or wikipedia or imdb. What is up with that??

I really am here, somewhere.

I'm not depressed, and I'm in a regular mood. But I'm just not up to blogging. Nothing to say. I was out of meds for 4 or 5 days, and I'm sure this is in response to the dip in the levels in my brain. Whatev. I'm in a good mood, so I don't care. I guess just a bit non-functioning, but not in a devastating way. Just in a, well, blogging sense? My internet has been screwy, and so has my phone, so I just don't mess with it.

My days, if you care, consist of hanging out and running small errands. I've been to the library. Oh, Gabe wears underwear during the day at home (while not sleeping), so I'm pumped. He's either totally stoked or completely nonchalant. I don't know why. Perhaps he is humoring me by showing excitement. Stinker. Mostly, he likes to be naked. He sits around all day naked on the nonchalant days. At least he uses the potty. When he wears a pullup, he doesn't use the potty. Stinker.

Internal temperature: Okay with the way I look. Okay with my social life. Having fun with the kids. Not cooking one blasted thing. Not showering much, but what's new. At least I brush my teeth.

I guess I do have things that are noteworthy in my life, but they are (surprisingly) not bloggable. Too private. And that's saying something, b/c I tell all here. I know that's a teaser, sorry. I can talk about it in real life if you are dying, but I promise you will be like, "Huh. Well, boring."

Man, that is one paragraph I'd delete if not for the non-delete rule. If I'm not saying something, I should just not say it. I'm usually good at that. For example, if a sentence is going to start with "needless to say," then I don't say it. No offense to people who do complete the sentence. Often times, it isn't quite as needless to say after all.

Am I rambling? Geez. I'd go to bed, but I don't fall asleep these days. It makes me mad to even go through the motions. I feel gypped. I remember the days I could sleep like I was being paid overtime. Ahhh....

Actually, I've napped the past two days. I haven't done that in a long time b/c I was trying to sleep at night. Alas. Just like trying to lose weight over the past 2 years, it has been fruitless. And I'm a quitter, so I quit.

Well, that about sums it up. Here's a picture for those who only like posts with pictures:

I cracked my window with a tap shoe.

Yep. But it was justified. I was having a war with a wasp. He started it. I finished it. Collateral damage is to be expected.

WHERE ARE MY SERVANTS!?

Don't go to a resort. The return to reality is brutal. Where are my free refills? Where is my poolside service? WHO'S GOING TO CHANGE MY SHEETS?!

So, while a number of my friends are at Girl's Night Out, I am (still) in my pj's sitting forlornly at my computer. Andy's working late. The kids napped until 7 flippin' pm, so they are watching Cinderella.

My comic relief, which was very comic indeed, was Gabe drumming up a rousing chorus of "Ai yai yai!" Not the song; I don't think they've ever heard the song. I don't know where Gabe picked up the expression at all, but he sure did holler, "Charlotte! I-I-I!" and she screamed "Ai yai yai!" right back. Then, "Claire! I-I-I!" There was ai yai yai-ing and I-I-I-ing all through the fishsticks and corn. Little dude was splitting his sides over this game. I was just sitting there confused and amused. (Oh, wait! He's coming around the corner right now shouting, "I-I-I! I-I-I!" Weirdo.) What can I say?

Andy's car went into the shop yesterday¹. It was actually ready this morning, but later in the program you will hear why I declined getting up and taking him to the shop. So, he took my car. Turns out, this is the day we run out of toilet paper, milk, baby wash and shampoo, dish soap, and kid toothpaste. He will get home, eh, maybe 10ish? So late WalMart party. Woo hoo.

Now, to the night that made me decide a car was not worth waking up for: Gabe has figured out how to get out of his room. Once he learned to open doors, we started locking his room at night. The lock is on the inside, but, hey, he's little. But he ain't no dummy, so he's figured it out. And he kept coming downstairs last night. Argh. Finally, because I was nervous that one of these times he was going to fall down the stairs in a sleepy misstep, I stuck him in bed with us. We VERY rarely sleep with our kids. And certainly not all night. But, when it is 2am and a two-year old is stumbling into the living room with his eyes squinched shut against the light and a big smile on his face, a gal gets desperate. So, the night was spent in a half-sleep periodically slurring, "Gabe, lay down. Go to sleep." Totally sucky.

So, my command decision is to create an imaginary friend. Well, servant. And she is going to get me showered, changed, and in front of a lame late-night show just as soon as the kids go back down. Probably at 10. So, if any of you hear me talking to Beverly, don't even ask. She'll be busy bringing me dry towels by the pool.

¹Again. He doesn't think it's ever in the shop, but it totally is. So there.

I feel like I've been gone so long that I don't know what to say!

Two trips. That's what I've done. Thursday June 25th to Tuesday June 30: Family reunion in Provo. Man, I hate recounting stuff that most people don't care to hear play by play. SO...

Roadtrip - AWESOME. 3 sisters, one brother, straight through both ways (minus the brother on the return trip). I loved.

Baby blessing - AWESOME. My littlest brother blessed his first baby. Perhaps you remember the pix I put up of Miriam. We are in love. Plus she looks like me as a baby. It was very special. I mean, I LOVE that girl. And her parents.

Almost sister-in-law: AWESOME. We didn't get much time to visit, but who cares. It's easy to see how neat she is, and she is perfect for my brother. There will be time later to get to know her better, so that makes me feel less panicky. I know, panicky is weird. But I like to be close to the ol' fam. In case you haven't noticed my two sisters and uncle and cousins in the ward.

Extended family - really neat. I learned all about a branch of the family that I really didn't know anything about. My dad's mom's fam has some really cool history, and I loved meeting his cousins and their kids. Plus, all of Dad's siblings (eight kids in the family) were together for the first time in, like, 25 years. It was really neat. Much food and socializing. Of course, the masses and masses of socializing were difficult for me, but once I got there I had a great time.

Provo - Okay, this part is crappy. That is the worst place on earth. And the vortex of horror is BYU campus. And the reunion took place on campus. I damn near had a breakdown. Okay, I had a breakdown. Listen, that is the place and the time of my life that I had the worst time, felt the very worst about myself, and have the very worst memories of. It was really hard to be there. I was pretty sick in the stomach. HOWEVER, I have awesome sisters who stood by me and were very encouraging and complimentary (and hated on Provo in a show of solidarity). And by the end, those feelings were resolved. I came out on the other side. I still don't care for that place. At all. At all all all. But I am not a jellified mess, and it isn't the black underworld any longer. So, the Lord is amazing, because that really is a miracle. I could go back there and be just fine.

NEXT TRIP

Thursday July 2 to Sunday July 5. Andy and I had what Leslie calls a "love trip" for our 10th anniversary. We've never gone away together since we've had kids. We went to a resort and spa in Bastrop (near Austin). It was Hyatt Lone Pine something. Everything about it was ridiculously fabulous. We had a few folks up in the church today tell us we were glowing. Well, yeah! We had the most fun! I will now brag on it:

This place is all about the Texas experience. The whole place was decorated with Texas history. I love that stuff. There was a great pool with a lazy river (everyone know what that is?) and a slide and a beach area and an adult pool and a bar and, well, it goes on. We spent some time out there, you can bet. The waiters refill your drinks and you can order food that is brought to you right there in your lounge chair! I know I sound crazy, but I felt rich and famous. There are these green water bottles you can buy (which we were actually given by the people who told us to go to this resort), and you get FREE REFILLS wherever you go in the resort. FREE DRINKS ALL WEEKEND! AND free s'mores at night. Here are the two drawbacks: Pepsi, not Coke (uh, what in thuh?!), and no free internet. Alright, back to the grand time. We went horseback riding, watched a couple of movies, did I mention the pool? And then: I went to the spa!! It was fan-freakin'-tastic! Fan-FREAKING-tastic! Officially, I had the "botanical purification ritual." Whatever - that amounts to me cramming in as much stuff as possible for one price. You know, cuz you can have facials, mani-pedis, massages, etc. So, mine was a body scrub followed by a volcanic body mask. Then I was wrapped in all sorts of sheets and towels and plastic (cozy, not claustrophobic). Then my feet were rubbed for a hundred years. Then, I showered off all the goop and got a massage with moisturizing lotion! Ta da! Perfect! My skin was so soft and smelled so good (and apparently detoxed by the geranium essence they used). I didn't want to go back to the pool and ruin it. But, I couldn't resist. Did I mention there was a slide?

This place was full of families. Kids everywhere. It made me miss my babies. The place is perfect for families and reunions and whatnot. There was even a bride and groom checking in. They must all be loaded. We are really lucky to have gotten this special trip. Ahhh, amour!

That's it. Andy and I aren't picture takers, but we tried. If I ever get them, I'll post them. Don't hold your breath.

Oh wait! I fell asleep during my footrub in the spa, and I woke myself up with my own snoring. Very classy.