Summer is NOT almost here. It's over. School isn't even almost here. It's started. I don't blog much.

Charlotte is loving middle school. Because we drive her cousin Luke in the morning, she hasn't noticed that she is nervous. Isn't that awesome? She just cruised right on into sixth grade. Thank you, LUKE!

Claire is in 5th, and happy to be ruling the school. I suspect the workload and pace is causing her to struggle, but she doesn't say much. I'm working on that.

Gabe is "fine" with 2nd grade. He's "fine" with absolutely anything you try to ask to solicit any information whatsoever. He's crazy obsessed with Minecraft, though, so I hear about that for hours ad nauseum.

I'm exhausted. I can't get enough done in the 7 hours there are no kids at home. What the what?

That's it.

Summer's almost here

It's the last week of school. I feel panicky. What about structure?! What about chores?! What about fun?! What about my personal private time?! I'm unprepared!!!

Charlotte's elementary career is all but complete. She has had her Business Fair: she made and sold out of magnetic bookmarks; she has had her 5th Grade Celebration: 7 - 11pm at Iron Cross gym where she had a Bah-LAST!; she has had her final hand chimes concert: totally awesome and impressive; she has had her yearbook signing day. What is left? A couple more days of raising and lowering the flags, a couple more school lunches (I refuse to buy lunch food to pack), and the bringing home of all the leftover supplies. EGAD.

Claire and Gabe are excited about school ending. They are excited about their pipe dreams of seeing all their friends this summer. They are excited about it all. And they show their excitement by constantly bickering and picking at each other. I hate those guys.

I've signed them all up for the library reading club, as usual. Since we read Harry Potter out loud almost every day, those trophies are in the bag. We are on the fifth book, by the way, and I am struggling to make up and then remember the voices (including accents) of all the various characters. At least they recognize Snape every time they hear him, and that makes me feel ridiculously proud.

Gabe is the only one taking swim lessons this year, and they don't start until July. The girls want to take acting camp. I have yet to sign them up. No vacations planned yet, but that doesn't mean we have ruled them out. Mostly it means we won't ever plan anything and then it's too late, but I like to hold out hope.

We have been doing a TON of work on the house that has culminated in a gorgeous new living room (as yet unpainted). Prepare y'allselves:

New floors! New trim! New furniture! New curtains! New paint on the built-ins!

Here's another view:

That fan has gotta go. 

And just because I know y'all are all interested...

I'm blonde again, finally!

Venting

Feelings are tough. I have them, I can't figure them out. Or, more to the point, make them go away. I learned a friend of mine just lost his brother suddenly, like we lost Craig, and I was overcome with sadness and agitation. Sadness, I get. Agitation - I guess from wanting to help or take action, but there is nothing to do. Just send a note of love and sadness. Just pray a lot for them. I did those things. But I've been sad and agitated since yesterday morning when I found out. I feel like I'm supposed to do something, but there is nothing. And so instead I'm hating feelings.

I am weighed down by science fair. Two kids, both doing PARTNER projects, all due tomorrow.

I am overcome by lethargy about my house, chores, grocery shopping, meal planning and making, cleaning, laundry, showering, everything. I haven't gotten my mail for a week.

I feel bad about myself for no pin-pointable reason.

I have therapy today, don't worry. I am just hoping that writing it down gets some of it out of me and makes room for less blah to come out and play.

It's amazing what a girl can accomplish (when she sleeps from 8am to 2pm)

A couple loads of laundry
A mopped kitchen floor
An emptied and reloaded dishwasher
A trip to the grocery store
A homemade dinner of chicken enchiladas

If only I slept all day every day!

Also, following up on last post:
The car is repaired
The dishwasher is repaired
The foundation is repaired YEEEHAW!!!!!

Our hearts are still broken. It feels like forever and no time at all since I last saw Craig. I am full of gratitude to my Heavenly Father that He has sent peaceful times and restful feelings to relieve the constancy of grief. I am grateful I have a testimony that our souls are eternal and we will meet again. I am grateful for the comfort of family, of being close to Jessie, of spending holiday time with the Ruggles and strengthening our family ties. I love the Lord.

In other news, my hormones are whack, yo. Bloodwork showed a bum thyroid, wacky pituitary, and rebellious ovaries. Egad. So, I'm on a couple of lifelong meds for thyroid and pituitary, and I will revisited those pesky ovaries in February. Hopefully they are just reacting to the other two's bad behavior, and once those guys are in line, they will straighten out on their own. We shall see. The moral of the story is that now I have medical documentation for why I am constantly tired, can't remember anything, can't focus, and am losing my hair rather than my belly weight. We are calling it Fat Old Lady Syndrome (FOLS, for short).

The Christmas tree is still up. My clothes bar fell down during the foundation repair - also known as the loudest and shakiest experience I've ever had - and I haven't even touched the mess. I've got shelves to mount. I have a library book that was due December 12th. Hopefully I feel motivated to take a crack at some of that tomorrow.

And now I must say that I've been watching NCIS while typing this, and I love that little McGee. Hang in there, Tim, we are all rooting for you. (Any of you who are NOT rooting for Tim need to keep that mess to yourself. This here blog is a No Place for NCIS Hate.)