Just when you think you can take no more

I was having a really hard afternoon. Difficulty with the kids. I was (and still am) very very tired, and I couldn't be compassionate. If you get hurt, guess what - YOUR FAULT. I told you so. Maybe next time you'll learn. Ok, so I took a break¹, and then I went to pick up the kids at my mom's. And then, a wonderful thing happened: Charlotte, age 6, kindergartener for 2 ¹/₂ months, read all of "Ten Apples Up On Top" to me. She struggled, she sounded things out, she persevered, she didn't complain, and I was so awed and proud and excited for her. That's all it took. Even though they were the same kids going home, I liked them again.

¹I was watching "HSM3." But it wasn't my fault!! I was there to love and support a good friend who wanted a girls' night out just for that movie. So, I had fun just being with her and our friends. But, seriously y'all, I could hardly take the movie.

Who am I?

Ok, so I'm bipolar. Right. So, sorry about Sunday. Rage has given way to some sort of giddy hysteria. But, honestly, Darth Vader dancing to Thriller? THAT'S FUNNY! I've never really cared about going to Disneyland, but I didn't know they had stuff like that!

For my far away friends - Winter Peeks In

Guess what! It's cold! Thirty-seven degrees cold! I had to dig out the coats. I'm actually sitting here drinking hot chocolate. The first cold snap is always so exciting! Usually Halloween is hot, but maybe this year we'll have to cover our adorable costumes with coats. I'm glad I got a lot done here yesterday so I can snuggle in today. The high is 67, so it won't be bad if I need to go somewhere this afternoon. Texas may be miserable all 8 months of summer, but we have some great (few) weeks of weather now and again.

Results at the gym (see last post for situational info)

Ok, so the yoga instructor only said one thing that irritated me: "The only moment is Now." Ugh.

However, the lady at the childcare desk took one look at my license (I can't find my gym card. Rage.) and said, "Oh! I didn't recognize you! You look so different!" I said, "Well, that was taken when I was 22 and I'm 31." She (stupidly) said, "You look so different!" I said, "I was younger, blonder, bluer-eyed, and THINNER."

I got her back. I told the member services desk.

True story.

Rage + PMS

= HORRIBLE PERSON

I am not sure if it is rock bottom, but it is way down there. EVERYTHING makes me extremely mad. Everything. The hymn at church yesterday, "Today While the Sun Shines," made me mad. Have you heard it (through the ears of a depressed, enraged person?) Well, here it is:

Today, while the sun shines, work with a will; Today all your duties with patience fulfill.
Today, while the birds sing, harbor no care; Call life a good gift; call the world fair.
Today, seek the treasure better than gold, The peace and the joy that are found in the fold.
Today seek the gems that shine in the heart; While here we labor, choose the better part.

First off, DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! Don't tell me to be patient - I'm not. I don't do my duties - no chores, no bills, no shopping, no hygiene. And I don't want to be judged by a stupid song for that. "While the birds sing"? In case you didn't know, I hate nature. I had stupid cardinals pecking my windows for 3 years. I tried to scream them away, and they just sat there. I do NOT feel like life is good. The world is NOT fair by anyone's standard. I was sitting in the *&^$*%$ fold yesterday and there was no peace and DEFINITELY no joy. And, just so you know, there is NOTHING shining in my heart. Who wrote that stupid song? Helen Silcott Dungan, I'm coming for you! (Oh, 1899. I'll spit on her grave.)

Everything people say makes me angry. My kids touching me makes me mad. The toilet overflowed - I'm mad. Today a stupid senior citizen turned at an intersection when I had right of way. I seriously had to sit on my left hand to contain the bird. Stupid old people.

I'm going to the gym today for yoga. Hopefully, it'll calm me (as long as she doesn't tell me to breathe in peace and goodwill.)

Ok, and I KNOW that this is irrational. I don't blame you people (except that old man.) So, I'm giving the med another couple days, and if I can't get over this fit of rage, it's back to that damned (OOPS! Don't cuss!) Shrinky-Dink!

The following may disturb sensitive readers...

This is one of the most disgusting things, but I'm going to post it before Liz gets to it since she witnessed the whole thing.

We were in the office, on the computer as usual, and I see a small, roundish, dark thing on the ground. "Is this an old fruit snack? Or poop?" I pick it up. Rock solid. I sniff it. Hmmmmm. I sniff it again. It's poop.

I know! I know! But we were too busy wet-your-pants laughing at how repulsive that is to care how repulsive that is! And all the questions it raises!

How did it get there?
How long did it have to be there since it was petrified?
If I suspected it was poop, why didn't I pick it up with a paper towel or something?
Why would I SMELL it?
Did I REALLY need to know if it was poop? It was going in the trash no matter what!
Why am I not more concerned that it is possible for poop to be on the floor of my office for countless days, maybe weeks?
Shouldn't I be embarrassed about our hygiene habits?

Potpourri

Yesterday, preparing to watch "Saw II"¹ on the Sci Fi channel (shout out to Kimberly!), I was popping some microwave popcorn, and the strangest thing happened. The bag opened while popping. The lazy susan rotated, and popcorn shot out around and around and around. "That is funny," I thought. But then, I opened the microwave, and I saw that a TON of unpopped kernals had shot out along with the popcorn, as well as oil. "Not so funny, but still," I thought. Then, taking the bag out of the microwave, I dropped it into the open dishwasher full of clean dishes. "That sucks!" I thought. Plus, I didn't want to miss the beginning of "Saw II." Too bad for me, it had started a half hour earlier. I watched it anyway, of course, but I never got emotionally involved with the characters (except Donnie Wahlberg, of course. I've been involved with him for YEARS!) You know that movies aren't so scary if you aren't emotionally involved with the characters. So, not scary. Gruesome, though. Demented. I really liked it. I'm hoping that they keep playing them.

I'm in a rage state that should dissipate when I increase my meds. I'm moving that date up to tomorrow. I need relief. So does my family. I can't talk to Charlotte without her crying. If you see me at the Primary Activity Day tomorrow, you might want to step wide. I'll try to be nice, but the kids get first dibs on that, and I might not have enough left for you. You may think I'm kidding, but you won't once you get your feelings hurt tomorrow. And then, when I'm better and happy, you won't be, and that would be sincerely unfortunate. So here's your fair warning.

I DID go to Pilates today, and I almost died. I really, really spent the entire class straining, working as hard as I could, and for a large portion of the time nothing but my hands and head left the mat. Claire had a huge goose egg on her head when we were leaving, and I was like, ok, that sucks. But, with the size of my kids' heads, that happens a lot. But the employees started freaking out. Ice pack, interview Claire, go back and raise a ruckus in child care. So I start freaking out. She's been neglected, she's been abused, she's been bullied. They are asking her to follow their fingers with her eyes, walking her in a straight line like a sobriety test. I start thinking she has a concussion, they are going to think I'm negligent b/c I wasn't concerned. She wasn't telling, so I left. I finally pried it out that she didn't get that bump in child care - she got it fooling around under the counter at member services. I told them and left red-faced.

¹It's edited. Don't judge me.

I went to yoga, and I'm goin' to Pilates.

And that, my friends, is a sign that I'm on the upswing.

Riding that wave, I'm shopping more. It's weird - I really don't ever do it except for groceries and household items. I'm talking diapers and toilet cleaner, not decor. It's really hard for me to buy the kids clothes, and I usually make do, but sometimes even I can't ignore the emptiness of Gabe's drawers. I only bought three things, but I think I covered my bases: church shirt, jeans, hoodie. What else is there? That gives him a church outfit, three pairs of pants, and something warm to cover all his tshirts, which he must have at least 5 of :)

With the seeming lack of clothing in this place, why is there so much laundry? It's a sick sick world.

Andy's getting my RIDICULOUS girls ready for bed, and I'm preparing for a quiet night of vegging with my two best friends - Couch and Television. I invited Coke, too, but I'm just planning to use him and throw him away.

I wanna give a shout out to my brother David for being one of only two male bloggers I know! Way to dominate, dude!

How out of control I am...

I actually had to go back and read my last post to remember my list of stuff I have to do in order to get to yoga. I'm a little embarrassed. Mostly, though, I think I'm hilarious!

Welcome to BlogAnon!

My name is Jennifer, and I'm not in control.

I was taking my meds at night, which was making it hard to sleep. So, blogdiction. Major problem - not enough supply! Come ON you people! I have a need! If you can't write more often on your own blog, then comment more on someone else's! Or I swear I'll find other dealers...

I actually just started taking the med in the morning, but I think it's making me hungrier during the day. It may have improved the sleeping a little, but that doesn't let you bloggers (and lurkers) off the hook.

Other topics: THE WEATHER! Cool front came through, for those of you who don't live here. We had nice hard rain all evening yesterday, and now the low is 45 and the high is 70. SEVENTY! Glorious! I walked down the street in a hoody this morning (to get Charlotte's hoody from Liz.) I found long-sleeved clothes for the kids. Except Gabe. He has to wear his costume. It's just sweats, but I'll know it is the darkness of space around Saturn.

When the weather turns like this, I get really excited. It feels like something is about to happen. I feel like going to a high school football game¹, or camping, or shopping for presents² with a sister or girlfriend, or just having SOMETHING to do where I am outside, driving with the windows down. And just so you know, not taking my kids to the park.

I HATE taking my kids to the park. I HATE IT SO BAD! Andy does it mostly, and rarely I go with him. That makes it a little tiny bit better, him going too. But my thoughts the whole time are, "When the *w$^* can I get out of here?" I hate pushing the swings, I hate sliding, I hate following around Gabe so he doesn't fall off the playset, I HATE hearing, "Hey Mom! Watch me!" I'm.not.interested.

Alrighty, I got a place to go - yoga. I miss it, I get to meet Delana there, and I get to drive out in this weather. Now, I only have 2¹/₂ hours to get there, and that ain't much for a mentally ill girl who has to shower, find workout clothes, find shoes, dress Saturn - I mean Gabe, pack a diaper bag, and get gas. (I usually only do 2 of those in a day, max.)

¹I actually liked that, surprisingly. I don't have school spirit, and I hated high school, but I have fond memories of the games. Probably scouting for boys and drinking giant Cokes with crushed ice. And making fun of the cheerleaders.
¹This is in the imaginary scenario of having some sort of sitter during the daytime, unlimited cash, a list, free gift wrapping, and holiday spirit.

Technology sucks. No, I suck. No, THEY suck!

FIRST AND FOREMOST: START THE MUSIC PLAYER AT RIGHT. DO IT NOW!

It took me HOURS, I am being so literal here, to figure out how to put TWO specific songs on Liz's blog!!!

Ok, let me start off by saying that if you know how to do this already, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT.

Now, I was trying to embed (oh yeah, you heard me - embed!) songs on a CD which I uploaded onto my iTunes library. (We couldn't find them at playlist.com.) I searched and searched the internet for how-to info. Finally, I got my answer: you can't. The songs have to be hosted on the web.

Well, playlist doesn't let me upload songs to the best of my knowledge (again, if you can do that, kindly keep it to yourself!) So, I found a site that can, and then I couldn't find the *&$*% files on my computer!!

More searching and searching. Oh, I found those dirty suckers! They were no match for my, well, not my prowess per se, but my DETERMINATION for sure!

THEN I DID IT! I got them on the blog!!!

but i can't make it autostart.

Well, we all reach a quitting point.

Be quiet. I said be quiet. I SAID be quiet...

I am so grouchy today. My sleep last night was CRAPPY, and I am barely being able to speak nicely to my family.

I would just prefer saying nothing to my kids that isn't absolutely necessary. Radio silence. Need to know. Repeating myself may get you killed. And (of course) kids need you to repeat yourself forty-five times. Argh!


Sooooo. That's it. Sorry Sarah and Liz. My life may seem glamorous from the outside, but I have nothing of substance to report. I'll probably come over to one of YOUR houses. Liz has roast, but Sarah has crappy WalMart cookies...

I'm so addicted I don't even do it anymore!!

I am seriously blogdicted, too, Liz, and I realized that I haven't even posted I've been so busy reading all the ones I follow, commenting, going back to see if anyone else has commented...

Alright, me: Who cares!! I've turned over a new leaf AGAIN and I'm owning my body the way it is. It's liberating. No guilt over the Ding Dongs. No guilt over the 6 cokes a day (unleaded, of course.) No guilt over not going to the gym in weeks. Plus, Andy bought me a couple of outfits, so I have stuff to wear. That really eases the stress. I put on my makeup more, and that makes me feel better about myself. It's a daily battle, but, whatever.

I'm going to buy costumes for the kids today if I can ever get out the door. Pumpkin for Charlotte, Ballerina or butterfly or ballerina or butterfly (geez, girl, PICK already!) for Claire, and Saturn for Gabe.

Oh, yes, you read me right. Saturn. My boy's big noggin should be accentuated - not like you can miss it. And, really, this is the last year I'll be able to pick whatever I want for his costume. My jumping off point is a navy sleeper, a close-buzzed head, and craft foam rings. My sis-in-law Jess will airbrush his head the beautiful pinky colors of Saturn. He may not wear the rings all night, but I'll get some great photo ops!

I don't know if I'll dress up. The kids would really appreciate it. I'll see if I come up with any good ideas. Ok, I'm off to the store, but I PROMISE I'll write again Liz, IF YOU COMMENT! Hi, mom, I know you read this!

Kids say the darndest things

We were all in the car this evening, and I was talking to Andy about eating salads at McDonald's back when I was trying to take the weight off. Incidentally, I was bringing home a quarter pounder meal at the time of the conversation.

Anyway.

Charlotte said, "Why were you trying to take the weight off? Is it because you want to be like Lizzie?"

I said, "Why - what's Lizzie like?"

Charlotte - "Skinny."

Yeah. But I didn't stop there.

Me - "What am I?"

Charlotte - "Uhhh, almost?"

We all laughed because that is genuinely funny. She got a little embarrassed and said, "I don't want to hurt your feelings!" "You aren't going to hurt my feelings, Char. I just want to know what you really think. Do you really think I'm 'almost?'"
"No."
"So what am I?"
"Fat."
"You think I'm fat?"
"Kinda fat."

I'm thinking it may be time to put down the value meal and head back to the gym, considering the success I had last time (that's sarcasm, folks.) What I really want is to take diet pills, and I don't care what anyone says about them not working. I'm in denial, and I like it here. I'm potentially thinner here.

I gotta new show!!

Have y'all seen "Life"?

I love it! I've never really had two shows at one time, and it is exciting. Instead of waiting an entire week to watch my show, I just have to go from Tuesday to Friday to Tuesday.

The premise is a cop who gets a life sentence for murder, exonerated after 12 1/2 years, and is a cop again. The solving of the murder for which he was wrongfully imprisoned as well as finding out who set him up is the long-running plot.

Did I mention I love it? I didn't follow it the first season, but I watched all the back episodes online over the last two days, so I'm all caught up for tonight.

Ok, so NBC, Fridays, 9pm central.

!!! NKOTB !!!

I just went to the New Kids On The Block concert!!!! It was freakin' RAD!!

My 13 year old self AND my 31 year old self are COMPLETELY thrilled! They did all their old stuff, and they OWNED it! They threw in lots of the old dance moves which really made it fun. And of course all the new stuff which was sexier and edgy-er (But Mom, it's got a good beat!)

We had tickets for an upper level, but when we got up there the usher redirected us to a table to get reseated. Apparently that section was closed. So we got AWESOME seats in the lowest section that isn't on the floor, DEAD CENTER! AWESOME! I'm a little hoarse and soaked in sweat, and it was so worth every single second!

I am a Donnie Wahlberg fan from back in the day, and I still am! He did all the flow in the new songs, which was awesome, singing, guitar-playing, booty-shaking, and
teasing about taking his clothes off. He did not. Danny, for those who love him, did some awesome break dancing. Joey and Jordan did most of the singing, although Joey's voice, in my opinion, was stronger and really pretty. They had a part where they came down onto a daiz in the middle of the floor crowd and performed. We were close enough to have a great view. OH - I went with my sister in law Jess and friends Karly (or Carly? Carley? Sorry, girl) and Heather. We took pictures, and as soon as they are emailed to me, they will be posted for you.

I know all you ladies of the eighties are JEALOUS JEALOUS JEALOUS! It makes me want to buy a Tiger Beat! It was, by far, the FUNNEST night!

"Ain't no party like a campin' party! Hey! Ho!"

Back from camping! It was really really fun, if disorganized. Actually, only Andy and I were disorganized. Apparently, I still operate under the impression that my parents (or other suitable grown-ups) will either get it done or tell me what to do step by step. I actually got in the car thinking "We are the grown-ups?" I'm 31. I think that qualifies.

Ok, so we got the car all packed up and only had to stop THREE times on the way to Lake Somerville. We only forgot the blankets and pillows. (Thanks for bringing those, Pabsts!) Andy set up camp, and broke it down, for that matter. I did a lot of sitting and laughing.

The lake was beautiful, the weather was beautiful, there weren't a ton of mosquitos. The kids were in hog heaven. Tree-climbin', lake-swimmin', pinata-swingin', junk-food eatin' caffeinated fools. The highlight for me was that Gabe wore shoes. We had to stop at WalMart and buy them since he doesn't own any. But, for once, he actually kept them on, and he looked like such a big boy running around in them. Claire and Charlotte dug playing "Ghost in the Graveyard" for the first time. It took us a good 20 minutes to remember the rules - Mary came through for us on that one.

The very best stuff is the stuff that is so hard to relate. The "you had to be there" stuff. However, I'll attempt:

There was a Camp Song - or chant or cheer or SOMETHING. That would ring out periodically, for no apparent reason, and everyone had their part. Spontaneous, almost simultaneous. "Hey! Ho!" "camp-alicious" "Ain't no Pah-tay like a campin' pah-tay!" "Woop! Woop!" We even had a scottish, "Piper DOON!" Hand-wavin' and booty-shakin'. It was what made it a family campout. Or a mostly-middle-aged, white, unfortunately-sober hip hop anthem. You WISH you were there.

Now, back to reality ("oops, there goes gravity"... anyone? I'm almost ashamed to say: "M&M.") Find a sitter for my shrink appointment, try to force myself to pay some bills, make a grocery list (agony), dance class, book fair.

Why didn't you people TELL me?!

I just read my entire blog - every post. HOW REPETATIVE AM I!? Geez! You could've clued me in that, "Hey! We know! You are either bored, manic or depressed! Shut up already!" I feel like I don't even have a reason to post anymore. I could just write, "Please see post from Oct. 13." Or, hey, just pick a post at random. You got a pretty good chance of it being applicable to whatever I'm doing right now.

So, that's that. The day was really nice b/c I was with my sisters (except Moo.) The kids went to bed at 7 sharp b/c they had such a late night last night. I actually woke up in time to get Charlotte ready for school. Stayed in my Bert & Ernie jammies all day (they are stripey, not covered in Bert or Ernie.) It was all really nice.

We are supposed to go camping this weekend, so hopefully I get some new friggin' material. Maybe even pictures! I no longer have a camera phone, and I'm not willing to actually use a camera for pictures, so that's why I don't post them anymore. Besides, I already know what I look like. And if you don't, just download a picture of Michelle Pfeiffer 20 years ago - I'm a dead ringer.

When you are too tired to sleep...

...you write on your blog, apparently.

My day was crazy crazy crazy, and, now that I am finally still, I realize it was very very good.

I feel like it has been years since I've been able to say that.

I was so scared to leave my house today. I felt like I was doing something really wrong. That is a side effect of my meds called PARANOIA. Hang on with me, kids. We've been through it together before, so we know it won't last. My dose is scheduled to... to.... SERIOUSLY! I cannot remember the word!! I keep thinking "improve" or "impress," but that is obviously wrong.... HOLY CRAP! I really can't think of the word!! GO UP. Whatever the word is for GO UP, that is what it is scheduled to - INCREASE! That's it! Ok, so these side effects will dissipate once it INCREASES a couple hundred milligrams. That'll be next week, maybe.

That said, I had such a wonderful time once I got to where I was going (Happy Birthday, Laurie!!) that I didn't feel those feelings anymore at all! Plus, I had caffeine :) Don't worry, I'm not backsliding. Moderation in all things, right?

Then, the chaos (and I don't use that word lightly) of after school began, but I really enjoyed it! My nephew's friend, just some 9 year old kid, comes over and plays in my house with my nephew and my kids. I feel absolutely cool. It is such a compliment to me that a neighborhood boy would enjoy playing here with all our kiddie girl toys and our kiddie girls. I love this dude.

After that, the chaos of getting myself ready and to my stake leadership meeting ensued. I admit, I was a wreck. I was late for set-up, I forgot what the first half of my presentation was going to be, and I was frantically practicing the accompaniment to the musical number. However, like it always does, the Spirit brought peace as soon as the meeting started. Yeah, I forgot a step in my presentation and had to be reminded. Yeah, I flubbed (lots) during the musical number; fortunately, the singing was so angelic that I don't think anyone even cared that I was playing. But the Spirit carried the meeting, and I left feeling calm and happy and grateful.

Finally, with Andy out of town, I had to do the bedtime routine myself (that's usually his job.) Once again, what seemed like a drawback worked to my advantage - it was almost 11 pm, so they were happy to get to bed with a truncated version of the routine, and they conked out immediately.

So, I'm worn out, but I'm enjoying the silence and the stillness, and, frankly, I'm not ready to fall asleep and hurry the morning. I'm afraid of trying to wake myself in time for school. That is Andy's job as well. I only do the middle of the day. I've got a sweet deal.

The Evils of Housecleaning

Here's the problem: cleaning my house turns me into Mean Mom. I absolutely cannot be patient with my kids when I am cleaning or after I clean BECAUSE they are just messing the crap out of everything three steps behind me! WHAT AM I CLEANING FOR? I was sweeping this morning, turned around to get the dustpan, and I see Gabe emptying the desk drawers of all their writing utensils, glue sticks, etc. Argh! Claire is picking things out of the dustpile that I am about to sweep up because she doesn't want that particular tile spacer to be lost forever. ARGH! GET OUT! While I fill the dishwasher, Gabe is emptying it; while I fold laundry, Gabe and Claire are turning over the laundry baskets; while I refill the desk drawers, Gabe is pulling garbage out of the trashcan and throwing it on my swept floor. Seriously. I feel like the 3 Stooges. Well, the one Mom Stooge and the two little Stinkers.

Ok, so now I'm just mad while I clean. I'm mad if I actually succeed in getting it clean b/c it will only be clean for an nth of a second. And, since I'm mad, I can't be patient with anything else they do. For example, every time I try to practice the piano ¹, every single kid in the house tries to talk to me, sit on the bench, play along, or stand and howl once I've told them to stop all that. So, I'm angry, I force them all out of the room, and I try to practice for 3 minutes while I listen to them sobbing and screaming in another room. Does all this seem pointless to you? Cuz it does to me.

So, I get to live in a filthy house OR my kids spend 90% of their day in bed or timeout. They aren't bad kids, really, although they are so not used to me cleaning that they apparently turn into gremlins after midnight. So, usually the house is filthy. I consider it a favor to my kids :)

¹I am actually practicing for a reason, otherwise, why would I bother? I have to accompany a trio tonight at my stake primary meeting, and I'm freaking out about it. I never play anymore, so I'm very rusty. And these ladies are superb singers, and I'm afraid of screwing it up and ruining their lovely performance.

Warning: The following is BORING.

Well, I actually don't have much to say, at least in my opinion. I feel like every day is dull and all I do is watch frivolous television. "The Rachel Zoe Project," "Project Runway," "Murder She Wrote," I even watched "The Real Housewives of Atlanta!" And movies. Last night was "Stand By Me," and it felt completely like a high school required-reading novel. One that I would've loved. And I love the movie.

Over the past week, I lost my home phone and my cell phone, Andy's car broke down, and the air conditioner at home broke. I'm still a little too depressed to show much interest in these things. Oh - reminds me, I gotta call the shrink... ok, done with that.

To continue - I found the home phone in the loveseat. I found the cell phone at the gym (oh yeah, I've gone back to the gym. Twice. I am very sore.) Andy's car was repaired and I spent all morning driving him up to get it. I had to stop at McDonald's on the way home for the kids to eat and run around. Apparently, two hours in the car was beyond their limits. What to do in November when we have 10 hours to Oklahoma. The air conditioner was fixed the very next day. We debated what to do that one night without air. It was, like, 68 outside and 85 inside. We'd have opened the windows, but we don't have any screens, and the mosquitos would murder us. As it turned out, the house cooled down quickly in the night, so we were all comfortable and didn't have to go to a hotel (Andy's option.) I spent the next day at my mom's, and when I got home that night, it was all cool again, literally.

I don't really cook, and I don't really clean, so it feels very dismal around here. Even with ALL the lights on, I feel like it is dark all around me. I feel nervous when I leave my home, even when it is to family's houses. I remember this from the first time I was getting on this drug - remember I had a panic attack and couldn't drive the 8 houses between mine and Liz's houses. The remedy was to increase the dose, and I'm on a schedule for that, so I just have to wait it out. I'm sure things are slowly improving since I do a load of dishes every few days. And my kids mostly make me laugh instead of cry. And I actually did laundry yesterday. That's huge. Gabe only wore shorts all day yesterday b/c I couldn't find a single shirt that wasn't absolutely filthy (and my standards are really low.)

Alright, that's it. I gotta go since #1 I really don't have anything to say, and #2 Gabe insists on eating crayons.

Welcome Autumn!

Ok, only in the morning. It is 49 F outside, but it'll be in the eighties in the afternoon. Still, it's the first day Charlotte wore a jacket and Gabe and Claire are wearing pants. We have to drive Andy to Cleveland (TX) to get his car, so I'll TRY to write later. I say try not b/c I don't have time but b/c I just may not think of anything to say.