Edward Munch's "The Scream"

Okay, so it all starts with taking a shower on my dorm floor. I had already had a very harrowing experience watching "Psycho" earlier that year, so I had heart palpitations every time I closed my eyes to rinse out my hair. Well, I survived the shower, and reached out for my HEY! Where's my towel? Geez Louise, I probably forgot it. No, no, I didn't. Did I? Crap, I think I did.

What to do, what to do...

Looky here at this highly convenient if slightly transparent public shower curtain! I'll just rip this sucker down and dash to my room. I get to the bathroom door, all prepared for dashing, and..

Almost every blasted girl on my floor was standing around the bathroom door with their cameras! Flash bulbs a-poppin'! Much screaming (I think it was all me, though). And no escape. I was surrounded.

That's all fine and dandy, those sweet little stinkers. (Oh, I was an RA, so these were the freshmen that lived in my hall.) UNTIL, I walk onto the floor one day to see one of those flyers that are pictured below right on the wall. And another... and another. Sweet fancy Moses (as our chorister would say)! Perhaps you can't read the writing on the picture, so I'll do it for you:

" Title: Aahhh! Who stole my towel! The Tragedy of Jennifer Grover"

I love those girls.

Incidentally, that picture made it into the ward memory video that the bishop made. You know, I'm starting to think they didn't have much respect for me...

#31, 32, and 33 (finally, sheesh!)

Happy First Birthday, Jennifer!

Happy Smurfday!
Nobody puts Gargamel in a corner (or closet)!

Happy RAing at BYU!!

I am out of time right now, so I'll have to explain this later. Same Bat Time, Same Bat Channel (not really, but that is the best phrase ever.)

Surprising

I was searching for a microsoft word template for a meeting agenda, and I was totally surprised that there are LDS meeting templates online! Isn't that funny?

Check yes or no, or add a maybe box.

Okay, so y'all remember a couple posts back when I was saying how I horrorize my kids' and husband's deaths, funerals, and burials? I got a lot of me-too's on the death, and a lot of um-crazy's on the detailed drama of the funerals. I mentioned this in the course of my shrink appt., and, as it turns out, that is something of a warning bell. Who knew? I mean, besides you folks.

Since I've had that sort of thinking my whole life, sometimes it is hard to see when it crosses over to crazy. But the idea that this new med can squash those thoughts is a happy surprise, so we are giving it a shot.

Just so's ya know, I feel like I look crazier on paper than in real life. Meaning, when I was filling out the standard mood checklist I get everytime I go to the psychiatrist, I kept making sidenotes by the checkboxes b/c I thought it all looked a little extreme. Example: "Do you often have thoughts of suicide or death?" "X = yes" "BUT, not my own, so, it's not that big a deal." I was trying to look less severe, but I think it upped the crazy a little. He he he. That's pretty comical. I think the Rate 1-5 lists are easier, but even then I'm throwing out decimals. "Have you experienced unusual increase or decrease in appetite?" "Increase - 3.5. But I was PMSing." Why can't I just leave it alone? I just need to add an "-ish" box next to all the answers. OH, and I always think it's funny when they ask about sex drive, which they always term "libido," which makes me think "lambada," which makes me not take it seriously. Which doesn't help that my instinct is to check the "Mind your own" box. Except I'm pretty sure that it is in the realm of the shrink's own. Business, not libido.

Plus, also, and, I am giving contacts a shot. Yep, I'm blind, but not really so much as I thought. Slightly near-sighted with some astygmatism crap that makes letters look like numbers and whatnot.

And I had bloodwork done today so we'll see what results from that. Now I just have to get my hearing tested next week and I can be over this healthy doctor crapola.

Incidentally, I shower damn near daily now. Do not ask me what is up. We all know that anti-hygiene is my depression friend. Mania, prob. Also, I am cleaner in the summer for the obvious reasons of sweat and shaving.

Dem's Fightin' Words

Okay, today, that's most words. I feel like picking a fight. I feel like someone needs to cross the line so I can enjoy putting them back in place. Signs of mania, perhaps. I really am calling Shrinky-Dink tomorrow. For reals this time.

It's Spring Break. Y'all know how I love it when my kids are out of school. Partly it's selfish; I don't have to get up and get them ready or be home at three o'clock. And, as much as I love homework time, I also love no-homework days. I have big plans for this week. We are gonna institute some chores around here. I seriously hope this isn't a pipe dream - the mania pipe, that is. [Aside: I'm pretty sure drug references are inappropriate. My language has cleaned up a bit, so maybe I can move on to cutting out the pipe-smoking and the you must be high comments and the crack pipe sayings. Actually, I think it would behoove me to speak more literally. I'll see. I'm busy right now with chore-planning and hygiene. Yep, hygiene. I'm giving it another shot. Wow, what a long, rambling aside. Another sign of mania.]

Okay, let's just list the manic signs right now:

1. Elevated mood
2. Euphoria
3. Hyperactivity
4. Excitement
5. Overconfidence
6. Grandiosity
7. Extravagance
8. Spending sprees
9. Recklessness
10. Delusions of grandeur
11. Talking a lot
12. Rapid speech
13. Rapid movements
14. Reduced need for sleep
15. Increased appetite
16. Excessive exercising
17. Increased libido
18. Increased use of alcohol
19. Distractedness
20. Aggression
21. Excessive laughter
22. Anger

This is according to http://www.wrongdiagnosis.com/. It was just the first website that google search picked up. I'm not picky.

Here's me:

1. yep, but unstable

2 - 7. Nah

8. yep (for me. It's not like I'm buying yachts. New flip flops; too much easter basket filling.)

9 - 10. nah, at least I don't think so. Unless wanting to knock people down a few notches is caused by me feeling superior.

11 - 15. yep

16. Um, no, but I suddenly have the urge to exercise. I'm counting it.

17. Nunya

18. Substitute caffeine, but I can't tell if it is mania-induced or just addiction.

19 - 20. yep

21. No. I don't really laugh much, in my opinion. Certainly not more than usual. Probably less due to #20.

22. You got it, baby. Back up out my grill, peeps. (Thus the title of the post.) If you were in Primary today, which most of you weren't, you'd have seen this in action. Don't worry, I was within the limits of appropriate behavior for the situation. I started out with my mouth right up on the microphone and a firm, quite audible, "Ladies and gentlemen." If there is punctuation that is somewhere between a period and an exclamation point, I end that sentence with it, because I was pretty firm. Then some statements about respect and reverence that amounted to shut the hell up. I liked it.

Oh, I'll add to the list of symptoms disjointed thinking and creative thinking. One good, one bad. Although, I have disjointed thinking constantly. But the pipe dream, uh, I mean hopes for lots of new plans, are the creative thinking.

That's why I'm for reals calling the ol' Shrinky-Dink. Oh, and also to tell her that I upped my meds on my own, but that ain't a big thang since she said that was a viable recourse and what the amount would be. But it might be a fight. Yay!

Also, I recognize that I still owe posts 31-33 for my birthday. Postponed for now.

Gratitude

I want to state my testimony of the great plan of happiness and salvation that God has prepared for all of us, His children. He wants us back. He gave us Christ so He can have us back, if we are willing to do our small part. And then, it doesn't end. Life doesn't end. What a merciful God to give us forever.

I mourn and grieve for the family of my friend who has passed away. That woman, there aren't many of her kind, and I will miss her. But knowing that she is working and thriving and loving on the other side of the veil makes me feel, strangely, joyful. She is unfettered by an ailing body, by hunger, or fatigue. And that lady is a mover and a shaker. She must have things rolling like crazy up there.

I'm grateful for the opportunity I have to mourn with those I love. I think empathy, compassion, and friendship are priceless gifts from our Lord. I love being part of a church family that encircles each other when we need strength. Thank you, my friends, for that.

It is a great strength to me to know that Jesus has felt and suffered each pain, heartache, illness, fear, and sin that myself and each of us has ever suffered. I feel confidence that when I pray for His comfort to fall upon someone suffering thus, that it will come and fill up every corner of ache with His love, because He knows it so well, and He knows us so well. I love that. When I am a broken down person who can't even frame words to pray, I know that He knows the feelings and He knows how to care for me. This has been my strongest prayer for my friends now, that His peace will visit them in their anguish. Man, I love them so much.

That's it. God lives, and He is great. I love Him and rededicate myself now to following Him more closely and exactly. Amen.

#30

Okay, I loved Hungry Hungry Hippos. I remember getting it at least twice as a gift. My favorite way to play was two people each playing two hippos at once. Very challenging.

The game is surprisingly versatile. When not in use as a boardgame, the marbles doubled as gumballs when we played "Teenager." Another favorite game. My name was always Jessica, I was 15, I had my own apartment and went to college, and my boyfriend was a blonde named Rick. And I swallowed dozens of those gumballs, er, marbles.

#29

Oh, how I loved that sock monkey on my back. Yes, I remember toys as well as clothes very fondly. There is just something about a sock monkey that warms the heart. I also adored my bear named Pillow, my orangutan named Mogley, a frog that had a little bell inside that bonged when he rocked, and my 7 foot snake that I bought with my own money that Julie Shaken took and never gave back. That thing cost me $70! Oh, Sneaky, I miss you, my friend.

Favorite game of ours - "All the Dollies on the Bed Game." First, you put all your dollies on your bed. That's it. We were very creative.

#28

Who has green leotards?? Yes, I remember the clothes, Lori, and I loved this outfit.

Best childhood dream of all time:

Once I dreamed that the entire closet door was covered in Cabbage Patch Kids and there was a new swingset in the backyard. I couldn't contain my joy. And then I woke up. And instead of being disappointed that it wasn't true, I remember being very impressed with myself for having thought up such a fantastic scenario. And I'll have you know that I am hard-pressed not to buy myself a CPK doll even now. There is crack in that baby-powder scent.

Wed. Jan 13th

On January 13th, Sarah left me a comment saying she expected a fantastic post all about her come her birthday in February. How did I not do that? Oh yeah - I forget everything. So, let's a take a moment to celebrate my big sister.

Sarah, you are really incredible. I always find myself surprised by something you say or do. You are incredibly thoughtful and tender-hearted, and you are always trying to improve yourself. I should really take after you in that department. We already know that you are a born comic genius and everybody wants to be your friend. When I get to tell those people you are my sister, you should see their faces - not just a hint of envy. And I am always so proud to say it. Yep, that's me! The sister of Sarah! Jealous, much? Hah! I count it as HUGE when I make you laugh. It is like winning the freaking lottery. The other day you said you think I'm hilarious all the time, and I had a goofy grin on my face all day.

And I'll just say now that all those times your six-month old baby sister who was starving to death just needed one jelly bean to survive, I gave it to you just because it is really fun to make you happy. It always has been. It makes floating in a kayak for days worth it just to tell you about it.

You are genuine and big-hearted and sincere. You are like Mamaw in that you take a joke well and laugh easily at yourself. You are loyal and forgiving and very very smart.

So, here are some of my very favorite Sarah memories:

HOld on............ OH MY GOSH! I was almost just attacked by a wasp while I was typing! Whew! I beat the crap out of that thing with a board book. Back to Sarah...

Sarah hiding behind my trashcans by my back door waiting to scare the pee out of me. This was in the past couple of years, y'all. Sarah waiting in Liz's pantry to scare the pee out of me. Also in the past couple of years. Sarah hiding under the bathroom sink when we were kids pushing the plunger up and down so we'd think it was haunted. Sarah's eyeball in the crack of the bedroom door she was hiding behind to scare the pee out of me. Sarah doing the I Hate Multiplication song and dance routine. Watching Sarah put Aveda product after Aveda product on her perfect, nineties permed hair. Dancing with Sarah at prom. Eating in Sarah's station at Chile's. Sarah and Andrew doing the vaudeville dance. Fist fight at mom's (I LOVE this memory!). Teaching Sarah to shuffle. Watching Sarah drinking a coke in the corner of my labor room when I was having Charlotte. It was just the look on your face, Sarah - the "Oops! She saw me. Well, I ain't stoppin'" look. Trying to drive to Taco Bell with Sarah right after she got her license and somehow ending up going the wrong way on the 59 feeder without the headlights on.

Okay, there are a million more, but those just rolled out in about 45 seconds. You are a fantastic sister, Sarah. I love you so much. I look up to you and your humility and spirituality. I come to you for wisdom and advice, especially in parenting. I love you! Happy birthday post!

#27

I wish my kids could play outside until the street lights come on like we did. If they play on the driveway while I watch from the kitchen, I give myself the nervous runs. I'm so paranoid. Plus, also, the world is full of whackjobs and children aren't safe. George's dad would just come outside and give a mean whistle that found George wherever he was on the block or in the bayou and he'd run home. That's George's house behind the grand pyramid in the picture. He was our across-the-street neighbor. Those boys in the picture are our cousins, by the way.

Since I replaced my fireplace with windows, I can see into the backyard from the living room, so the kids are allowed to play out there without me. Which is the only way they'll get to play out there at all. It is soggy and hot or soggy and cold and/or buggy, and now that it is gorgeous I have allergies; I hate it out there. Anyway, I can open a window to hear them and holler at them, and I can see them ever time I glance up. Listening to them out there makes me so happy; it sounds just like how I played outside as a child. Thank the behind-us neighbors who gave us their swingset!

#26

One of my favorite childhood places was Teta and Honey's apartment. It was a tiny one-bedroom in an assisted-living building, but I didn't ever think it was small or boring. It was one of the most fun places on earth, in fact. We played with the same toys my mom and her siblings played with when they were kids. We dressed up in rouge and earbobs. The only things ever served there were white ice cream out of the box, soggy buttered popcorn in sandwich baggies, buttered toast from the toaster oven, cheese toast from the toaster oven, and cookies. And Tang to drink with Mickey Mouse straws that my mom had used, too.

The cookie jar was absolutely always full and never ever off limits. We just ate when we felt like it. It was always iced animal cookies.

Teta and Honey would sit in their individual arm chairs smoking. Honey had 3 Musketeers cigars and Teta Marlboro Lights. She had us run down the hall to bum a cigarette off another old lady once in awhile. Once she got menthol and was irritated. Once she lit the filter end on accident and I had to go back for another.

At night, we would all get one of Honey's pajama tops out of his "chester drawers" and sleep on the fold-out couch together. That apartment was like an ice box at night. The couch looked out the windows right onto the UT clock tower that would be lit orange on game nights. Teta would watch Dynasty and Falcon Crest and tell us to cover our heads with the blanket until some parts were over.

This place was perfect.

#25

Weren't we beautiful? This is when we all got married. I'll tell you the two very strongest memories of it:

One - waiting outside the temple in Salt Lake, which took FOREVER, I was picking leaves off of holly bushes to pass the time.

Two - the cake had pineapples in it. Uh, what in thuh? That is not kid friendly cake! I was sorely disappointed. About the cake only, not the wedding.

#24

Bathing with the neighbor kids. Was that anybody else's favorite pasttime, too? My kids barely fit in the tub together now, I don't know how the 5 of us were in that tub in that picture.

Those girls would be the famous Lisa and Jaimie. Jaimie will be the one figuring into all of my childhood desires for coolness. She had Jordache jeans, rabbit fur coat, trapper keeper, Cabbage Patch Kid, excellent sticker book, and Holly Hobby colorforms. Jaimie, I mean. She's the brunette who looks a lot like Sarah. She moved when I was in 1st grade. I love that girl. Whenever I see something from the eighties that Jaimie would have worn (puffy coat, rainbow barrettes with ribbons streaming down, etc.), I can barely stop myself from buying it, even now.

#23

My parents gave us a surprise party for our 16th birthdays. You can see that I would still be surprised b/c we didn't know as of yet that it would happen to each of us. By Liz, though, you'd think it would be hard to pull off. As a matter of fact, Mom managed it with her, but she can tell you about that if she wants. We are talking about me, here.

I went home with my friend Danna after school, or was it a Saturday? I think it was after school. Anyway, we hung out, and then she brought me home. I was clueless. It really is something to receive a surprise party. I loved it. I had a boyfriend, but it wasn't exactly my birthday, so I couldn't go out with him yet. I had to wait maybe 2 or so days for my first date. Laser light show at the planetarium.

Boy, I loved this party. My family and my cousins were there in addition to friends from church and school. I felt pretty popular that night. Don't ask me why we look so bored in the picture. I'm pretty sure it wasn't like that the whole time.

#22

Sarah and I were skunks in a dance recital. We can sing you our number: "Look at me, don't you think I'm cute, with my bushy tail and my furry suit. I got style and grace and real high tone! Wouldn't you like me for your very own!"

I still have the cap. And I remember being afraid to wear mascara for the recital.

#21

One day my friends and I were driving through a canyon in Utah to do I-don't-know-what. Best bets are going to Arches Nat'l. Park or going to Cosco's in Sandy. Either way. On the side of the road was this gigantic, gorgeous, random hill of red dirt. Naturally, I made them pull over so I could run up to the top and then run back down.





That dirt was so neat. It was really fine and soft, not grainy, almost creamy. Like Bare Minerals makeup, if you happen to use it. I bet there were millions of dollars of foundation minerals on that pile should any of us happen to be that color.

You can get a sense of the size of the thing by my tiny little self standing at the top. Do you see me? I'm a speck in the middle.

Coolest part - that hill is still there. Yep, saw it in Utah last summer. I can't imagine that there are more than one, but if there are, all the cooler.

#20

You see Li'l Sprout? That's me!! I don't know how this came about, maybe service or performance points for thespians, I don't know. Anyway, that job is no as glamorous as it seems. An air pump is constantly running to inflate the suit, so you can't hear anything. I can see through the mouth, but that means no peripheral vision. I could only see the tops of those kids' heads. And my arms were raised up as high as I could raise them. This was at the Pilsbury's Kids' Bake-Off 1993.

I knew the dough-boy, too. His job was worse. Invisible kids ran up and belted him in the stomach hour after hour. He did not "tee hee" for long.

Plus, I was so hot! The air unit inflated, it did not cool. We were soaked through and nasty in there.

#19

Pro-Grad

Pro-grad was not my idea of a good time. Think about it - locked inside the high school overnight with everyone in my graduating class with no way home. Utter nightmare. Anyway, I had about 2 hours of fun, and Sumo Wrestling was the most of it. That guy was over 6 feet tall. Can you tell how far I am off the ground in the collision picture? As you can see, I lost, and getting rigged up in that smelly, nasty suit took way longer than the match. Why was I smiling?

#16, #17, #18

Seventh grade. Ugh ugh ugh. Nineties bangs.













Eighth grade. Yes, it got worse. The only reason my hair was that long was because I never bothered with getting it cut. Incidentally, that is all of my hair there on my shoulders; nothing hanging down the back. At least I finally got to wear eyeshadow. But, oh, the bangs.









Finally, ninth. High school. I never liked it. I have nothing nice to say about it. Now is a good time to mention that I'm in a foul mood, and that will surely be reflected in my post.

Mostly, I remember waiting at the teacher parking lot after school for mom to pick me and Sarah up. I was always cold. "I Saw the Light" by Brooks and Dunn was on the radio, and I loved it. I sang it a lot. I broke from my crowd in middle school this year. Hung with my friends at church and started theatre. Yes, I spell it the snobby way since I am a thespian.

The first play I auditioned for was Dracula. No, I didn't get a part, but I got to paint the big stones for the castle walls and use power tools to build sets. I loved it. I wonder if I should have gotten into it considering all the creepy influences, but I felt like I almost belonged there. Well, not my freshman year. Not until my senior year. I'm slow to warm up.

I wish I had more to say about these years. I don't remember much about them. The feelings I have are feeling like there was never enough light. Dark rooms, etc.

#15

I started piano lessons in early elementary school and continued until the end of high school. I only got good enough to play for myself and the Primary, and now I've lost most of it. I never memorized much. I was always extremely nervous and sick to my stomach to perform. I had only a few recitals; my teachers were all in the ward. Until my last teacher who was highly accomplished and accredited and made me do theory and competitions. I nearly died. I quit. I had to memorize, and my fingers shook so badly that I could barely hit the keys. I used to bite my nails on the bus to her house b/c they had to be short. If she heard them clicking on the keys, she would tut tut at me and make me clip them at her house. I hated that. Plus she was the first teacher that didn't give me stickers when I passed off a song. Probably because I never passed off a song. I could never play well enough.

I miss playing. When I get on the piano at home, the kids take it as an open invitation. And it is so discouraging to see the skills I've lost. I can't ever play a song without wrong notes. Ever. And if I get close, I can't play with expression, which is not a forte of mine. Sight reading was always my strength. As I've gotten older, I've heard more and more really gorgeous, skilled piano music, so what I play isn't pretty to my ears and that makes playing less enjoyable. But I used to pound the keys when I was a teenager.

#14

Man, this fireplace was the site of many a game. I remember playing Strawberry Shortcake here. Sarah came home from kinder and had a fit when she saw Liz and I playing. Poor Sarah. Life went on without her while she was away. Sidenote: I remember the first time I missed cartoons. I had never realized that could happen. I thought they were just on when I turned on the tv. I was playing down at Lisa and Jaimie's house when Mom came and got me. I don't know why she told me that I had missed them. Perhaps it was in the course of some conversation, but that was the part that stuck out to me. I was all about Woody Woodpecker.

Back to Strawberry Shortcake, and all other imaginary games we played. I was always the bad guy and/or outcast. In this game, I was the Purple Pieman. Smurfs - Gargamel, Papa Smurf, and Brainy, the loser who got tossed out any time I said, "Papa Smurf always says..." Sarah and Liz divided the room in half for Barbie houses. I got the non-walk-in closet with no light for mine. I sat on top of all the shoes. The clothes hung over my head. And when I knocked on their doors, they were always busy. Even when we played The Wizard of Oz with the neighborhood kids, I was the Wicked Witch, and I had to sit behind Christina Herrera's scary banana trees until the 3 times I made appearances: Munchkin land, apple trees, City of Oz. Oh wait - I got to melt, that's 4.

And I remember it fondly and happily. I believe I really enjoyed it while it was going on. I always liked to play on my own. I even miss sitting in the closet. Did I mention they made me keep the sliding door closed?

#13

My earliest memory was before the age of 3. I'll tell you how I know. I saw a witch outside my window. An actual, pointy-hatted witch on a broomstick. Sarah saw it, too. We lost it, of course. I cannot remember for sure, but it seems to me I was in a crib. I know it was before age 3 because it was my biological dad who came in the room. We lived with him until I was 2.

I have one other memory of living with him. I was showering with him. So, you know that had to be super-young. Gabe is three and kicked out of my shower. He was holding me. He washed his face with soap, even over his eyes, and it scared me because soap stings eyes, I knew that for sure. He had Vidal Sasoon shampoo. That's all.

It's unfortunate that my ponytail is still the same size as the one in this picture.

#10, #11, #12

Fourth grade. Recovered some cuteness. You can't see it, but that necklace is a music note pendant that my dad gave me. I loved it so much. I wish I still had it. Somehow, my teeth had either come in sufficiently or I had learned how to smile with them covered. And, of course, I loved that dress.







And then came fifth grade. Can you tell this is the year Mom let me pick out my own clothes? I'll have you know that was a very hot outfit. It had leggings, people. I thought I was the queen of the 5th grade when I came swaggering in wearing that sweet look. The popular girls - Candy and Jill - loved it.




And here is how I entered junior high. I tried to redo that ponytail in the bathroom right before the picture. I couldn't get it straight. I was sad when I got the pictures back and saw that it was to the side. Now, I think that it looks better like that. But you can see on my face that I was not feeling it. I look scared. I remember feeling scared a lot of the time at that age. I never knew what was going on around me, who was the right person to talk to, what to say to people. Most of that hasn't changed, I guess. People don't believe me when I say that I feel shy. I think that it is more accurately called social anxiety. Back then, I just was really quiet around groups at school. Now, I talk instead.

This is where the golden halo of childhood starts to fade. I hardly have any memories of the tween years, and none of them are really worth the brain cells they are occupying. Well, in 2 days we'll have done with the school pictures, and we won't have to think about them any more.

#9

Ah, 3rd. The awkward stage. Look at those teeth. What was up with the haircut? Scrawny neck. I think I look a lot like Ethan in this picture. No offense, Eeth, but you don't make a cute girl.

That corsage was what I wore at my baptism. I'm sure Mamaw insisted on that, though I don't remember well. It's just her style. Anyway, that picture was very shortly after my baptism, maybe only the next week. That is a shirt, and I don't remember if I wore jeans or a skirt. Maybe I'll find my class picture. I guess jeans.

Third grade was the year of Mrs. Stockton. That woman needed Midol, I think. She'd be nice and fine, and then some days - yipes. She grabbed me by the arm one day by the lockers to reprimand me for something. I was not reprimanded often at all, and I really didn't like it (sounds like Charlotte). I don't remember if the next part was 3rd or 4th, since she too, unluckily, moved up, but I ran out of the classroom crying. It scared her. Ha. PS - she didn't grab me hard or violently, she just took hold of my arm, probably to stop me and turn me to face her. Whatever, lady. I'm the good kid. Back up.

#8

Definitely second grade. (My mom wrote it on the back of the picture.)

I remember all about this picture. I LOVED that headband. I wore that headband all of the time. And I loved that dress. It had a dropwaist. That was the year I had Mrs. Lewis, my all-time favorite teacher. Sarah can attest to her amazingness as she had her one year, too. In fact, I had Mrs. Lewis in 4th, too. Bless that woman for moving up. She countered having Mrs. Stockton for my other teacher in 4th.

I have some very detailed memories from childhood about trivial things. Mrs. Lewis was from Ohio. She used one of those contraptions that held 5 pieces of chalk so she could write one of those lines that kids use for writing. You know, top line, dashed line, bottom line. Do those even have a name? Anyway, she would only put in 3 pieces of chalk, and then she used the eraser to make the middle line dotted. We all just sat there and waited for her to finish. I was mesmerized.

I also remember John Hall telling me to turn around and look at him. He had snot running out of both nostrils. I just gagged typing this.


NEW SUBJECT:
This doesn't count as a childhood countdown post. Just a regular day post.

What is up with these damn cardinals? Year after year, since Charlotte was three (or earlier), they have flown around my house pecking and pecking at windows. How stupid are they? What is their life expectancy, anyway? Are they teaching their babies how to do this? Is it some sort of mating thing? There is always the male and the female, although the male does most of the pecking. Is it their reflection? Is he protecting his realm? WHO CARES. Gimme a beebee gun. I know Lori would name them and watch them and photograph them. But, trust me, the incessant clacking sound will make you crazy(er?). That is all.

#7

I don't know if this is kinder or first. Surprisingly to myself and I'm sure my sisters, I don't remember anything about this picture.

We are now starting the School Picture Cuteness review. Yeah, I was extremely cute (I brag shamelessly). But don't worry - awkward is coming...

(Incidentally, I was called freckleface as a kid. I thought of myself as a freckleface until well into my adulthood until I realized I actually don't have freckles anymore.)

#6

Technically, I went on a date when I was 14. Sorta. I went to the 8th grade prom with a boy. My mom and dad took us to dinner, and then they dropped us off. I do not know how they allowed me to do this, but I remember being so amazed that they did.

I didn't actually know my date well. I had hung out with him at the elementary school carnival on a Saturday, and he went to my school. That night, or maybe the next day?, the phone rang, and my heart started pounding in my chest. I knew exactly what that call was. It was Billy inviting me to the 8th grade prom. I couldn't breathe when I got on the phone. That happens to me often enough. I mean the phone voodoo. I knew it for junior prom exactly the same way. I knew it when Andy called from his mission on days other than the usual. As soon as the phone rang, my heart would thud and I would know who it was. Actually, vestiges of voodoo linger. Lots of time when the phone rings I know it is Andy before looking at caller id, even when I am at other folks' homes and he calls that number.

Anyway, Billy gave me a gorgeous gardenia wrist corsage. We danced, which I was cool with, until another wave of voodoo hit. The he's-gonna-try-to-kiss-me wave. I was not having that. So, I dumped him. Oh yeah, at school the week after he invited me to the dance, he asked me to go with him. Remember that - "will you go with me?" "We're going together." "Are you going with her?" Hilarious. Yeah, so I spent the rest of that night crying and avoiding. Ahhh, good times.

#5

I wrote this limerick sometime during the cursive years of elementary school. Personally, I think I was brilliant.

There once was a bat from Japan
Who was biting the neck of a man
Cried the bat with a fright
"I have ruined my night!
My false fangs are still stuck in that man!"

#4

The Elephant Dress - note the elephants under my nicely folded hands.



I hated this dress!! I threw a fit when mom put this on me for the picture. The collar buttoned in the back instead of the front, and I thought that was awful. In my memory, it is polyester, but I don't know if that is accurate. Whatever it was, I didn't like it.

But, as you will come to see in many of these pictures this month, when Mom dressed us, we looked cute. When left to my own devices... I guess nothing has changed since then. I'm just natchally sloppy and aim for comfort over any fashion.

I love the Elephant Dress now. I don't know how I came to stop crying and screaming for this pleasant-looking picture, but I look freaking adorable.

#3

My nineteenth birthday party.



So, this was in the lobby of my dorm at BYU. My friends had made a cake, and somebody gave me finger paints. We did actually paint on paper, but you can see where the real fun was.

Just so you know, it is going to bug me to be so skinny in these pictures. Not that I want to be quite that skinny again. But 60 pounds later sucks. Yes, 60.

#2

This is the best shirt ever. Ever. I long for this shirt. Liz has a Petrosky Elementary t-shirt. But not exactly this one. We were the pirates. It was the very very best elementary school ever. Ever ever.

Yes, I was as blonde as Charlotte. My kids say my hair is brown. Strangers ask me where my daughter got her blonde hair. I weep. Stupid hormones.

I loved being a kid, and I love to think about my childhood. It is all happy memories - not a single bad one. Even spankings are funny, happy memories now. Wasn't I lucky?

#1

Me