Blogging as a journal

I blog mostly for me. I love the comments, and I love the dialogue we all have. I love that I have a medium to organize my thoughts and experiences for my future and my kids' future benefit. When I look back at the beginning of this blog, I see a lot of progress with my mental health. That really encourages me along.

That being said, this post will probably bore the readers. It's for me to record my journey.

I haven't cheated on my new plan of eating. No sugar at all. I have had white tortillas twice at Sonic with the chicken wrap. There is probably sugar in the chicken marinade, too. I'm alright with that. Candy, baked goods, the mother's day cheesecake, and coke have little or no appeal. It's really great. It's really the Lord boosting me along. What a blessing.

I am totally off Topomax - the weight loss/mood stabilizer. I can tell because I immediately stopped losing weight, even after adding exercise. Okay, it was two days of exercise in a week. I hate it so bad. I'll have to ease up to more days b/c I don't want to overwhelm myself and quit. I just hate hate hate it.

I got another pregnancy inquiry. Boooo. Considering it was a comment that referenced a couple of weeks ago from a socially inept person, I should let it go. But my feelings are really offended. This doesn't happen often, and I'm not handling it well. I'll just have to work through it, But I have a comeback ready if that lady hits me with it again. Not really a comeback, just a firm statement that it is impolite and hurtful to ask women those things, and I'll appreciate her not asking me again.

I can feel a dip in my mood stability since I got off the Invega and Topomax. It is time for me to rely on my faith in the Lord. It is a trial that I'm ready for this time. I feel so good about getting off that medicine that I am just depending on the Lord for the help I need. I can feel it getting a little dark. I'm singing hymns of faith in my head a lot so I don't forget who I need, and remember to rely on Him. It's peaceful even in the midst of what feels like an oncoming storm.

Mother's Day was great. It was stress-free and fun with my kids and husband. I got some cookbooks to help me come up with food I can eat. I tried one today. It was a stuffed yellow pepper filled with eggs scrambled with scallions, and some cheese melted on top. It was really good. If I can just keep planning ahead and stay on top of the shopping. Plus also, I got an iPod nano and I just keep carrying it around listening to the radio and my playlists. FUN!

I feel overwhelmed with the amount of stuff on my calendar. I'm not used to being that kind of busy person, and I keep forgetting stuff that is important. I am a little concerned about summer; I will need a lot of childcare if I want to get stuff done in the day. Maybe nights will be easier since I won't miss my kids as much. They are still adjusting to having mom and dad gone during the week. That's what I get for never leaving them. Well, rarely. I hope they appreciate that we had those opportunities in their youth.

I hope that I can handle things this summer with so much going on. I hope the kids are ready for their daily work so they don't lose everything they learned over the school year. And I hope that I have fun stuff for them to do that will get them out of the house. That's it.