This one's a downer

Everyone has been put down for a nap. Nobody has a nice tone or kind words for anyone. Therefore, they can lie alone and sleep. Or at least feel disciplined. Argh argh argh.

I need to pick up downstairs, I really do. I need to fold laundry and do dishes. I need to shower and shave. I need to veg in front of the tv and forget about how hard parenting is sometimes. Not that anything hard has occurred. It's just that same old story of running out of emotional energy before running out of daylight.

The crow came and left, if anyone is keeping track, so my energy is returning. Not so my "zest for life." Oh yeah, I don't have that. I was thinking about a post my friend Nat wrote about happiness. I don't really deal in happiness. I really need to work on that because that sounds sad to my ears. I'll start by identifying happy times:

The fourth of July was a happy day. Of course it was - I spent it with my family. We ate and swam and played Farkle and even cleaning up after was nice. We laughed a lot. We didn't even miss the fireworks that were banned due to the drought. It was kinda nice not to have to keep the kids awake until after dark, and it was certainly nice not having any neighbors popping off firecrackers until 1am.

My 12th anniversary on Saturday was nice. We ate out at the Swinging Door. That's where we had our wedding reception. It was fun to realize that we have planted roots in this place and grown a family here. It is fun to take our kids there and say, "This is where we had our wedding cake!" It is weird to be married so long, honestly. I mean, I feel old, generally, but that makes me sound even older to myself. I also made Andy and Craig and Jess watch "Sucker Punch" on our anniversary. It was not good, of course, but I'm glad I finally saw it. It is one of those movies that I will want to see until I finally get to, knowing that it is crap. Next up - "Season of the Witch" with Nicolas Cage. Better believe I'm looking forward to it.

This summer is a lot less enjoyable than summers past. The kids are so much less satisfied with their days. So much bickering and whining. But I feel like it is slipping away and they will be in school again before I know it and I'll have lost all this time with them. I don't want to send Gabe to preschool anymore. It his last year home, and I dread it ending. What will I do with him in school?? It's too sad to think about.

Well, it is 4pm and I still have that list of crap to get done. Good luck to me.