I received such kindness and love and encouragement from my dear friends, so I really want you to know that I appreciate it, and it helped me. I did indeed stop crying shortly after I actually found my calendar hanging on the bulletin board where I apparently thought it would be visible.
Today, however, was the day I actually went to request a new social security card at the social security office. Let me first say that I went to the county clerk's office for a new birth certificate, and I was there for 20 minutes tops. I left with the document and a fancy-pants envelope to put it in and NOT LOSE IT AGAIN. The SS office was not the same experience.
You come in (with three kids) to a very large waiting room that looks a great deal like the waiting area at your gate in an airport (I'm sure you can feel me on this, Lori). This security guard dude is standing under a sign that says, "Check In Here First" or something very near that. So, I do. I walk right up and say, "What do I do? I'm here to get a social security card." He says, "Fill out this form." The form is sitting right there under a sign that says, "New/Replacement Social Security Cards." Since I had already seen this sign, I was just being polite by checking in. It seemed pretty pointless. Until he gave me my NUMBER. The one thing that will get you out of the hell hole up to the window to get your business taken care of. Okay. Got it.
What I didn't get was the sign on the way in that said, "No cell phones." Alright, I get to the part of the form that asks for the daddy's social security number, and of course I don't know it. I mean, I don't know where my calendar is, so what do you expect? I go to call him. No phone. So I rush my kids out to the car to get it. All the while, I'm totally worried I'm going to miss my number. The number system isn't simple. I mean, it isn't "Now serving 74," and you are 83 and know that you have to wait for 9 people. It is "Ticket number M274, please report to window number 23." Along with, "Ticket number H37, please report to window number 9." AND "Mrs. Blah blah blah, please report to window number WHO THE FREAK CARES BECAUSE WE ARE ALL SO CONFUSED!" Um, I think I was a little low on patience. Seriously, though, I had to go up to the window(s) twice to see if they had just called my number b/c I couldn't hear what they had said.
So, I come back in calling Andy. Trying to keep the kids contained on three chairs and still hear the announcements. Security guard, "Ma'am, you can't use cell phones here." Uh oh. Sorry! I hear Andy trying to give me his SSN as the guard is asking me what my business is about. So, I tell him. My husband, his number, your form. Well, as it turns out, even the security guard knows that this can be done with just the mom's number.
While this exchange is taking place - and as I'm hanging up on Andy - Gabe has slipped off the chair. He is running in circles about 5 feet away singing, "Limbo limbo limbo!" (This, Claire informs me, he learned from that big purple dinosaur named Ernie.
What's wrong with my kids?) So, I start to get up to grab him, and the security guard who is still in my face says, "Is he yours?" Yes. "He can't be doing that." And here is me about to go postal. But all I say is, "I know. I'm taking care of it. I couldn't do it because I was TALKING TO YOU." No lie. He just walked away. And I just looked at the two ladies sitting next to us who were staring shamelessly, and I said, "That just made me real mad." They laughed and played with my kids. I love them.
Hey, I know we are an obnoxious crowd sometimes. Kids are kids. And mine weren't being awful. They were wiggly, but they were mostly happy and talking quietly. ONE little limbo contest and BAM! Some dude feels the need to earn a government paycheck and crack down on a TWO year old.
So, that's it. I was peeved, but in the way that you know it'll make a funny story later. Well, at least in my head. I can still here me saying, "because I was TALKING TO YOU!"
12 comments:
I'm glad you were able to get her birth certificate with no problem. Sorry the SS office was such a nightmare. When Kimberly got her first job I realized we had lost her SS card. We had that same lovely experience of going to the SS office as you did. My 4 kids were older (5 - 16), but the confusion and disorganization were the same. It was about that time that we bought a fireproof lockbox to keep all of our important documents in. It's made life easier!
Good for you getting the job done! I'm proud of you for conquering the ss office with 3 active little ones in tow.
If it's any consolation, I'm having a frustrating day, too. I say we ditch healthy boundaries and controlled responses and get together for milky ways with chocolate shake chasers!
Sounds like you've got your groove back! So glad to hear 'fiesty Jen' pounding away at the keyboard!
It sounds like a day from hell - but in a hysterically funny way!
Yeah, I don't have a fireproof lock box, but after Norway and needing EVERYTHING for each of us to live in the country - got 4 big bright envelopes, put our names on them and put them in the front of the filing cabinet labled 'important documents' - been working so far!
Good luck with your scavenger hunt - sounds like you are winning!
Way to go, Jen! You did it! You know that security guard dude was once a little boy, too... too bad he has forgotten!
I think chocolate... milky ways, like Court said and chocolate shakes sounds like a great comfort! I had a Bammo of a day... Emily decided to drive into the garage door last night, so now it is all dented in and stuck halfway open! Just shoot me know... PLEASE!
Oh man, I totally understand your pain! I too went to that SS office with kids, and I waited for 2 hours and ended up walking out without anything. Same experience with cell phones & security guard too! And to top it off, he chased me down when I pulled out a bottle to feed Preston (who at the time was 4 months old). HELLO! If you make me wait for more than 30 minutes with little ones...LET ME FEED THEM! See, obviously I'm not at the "thinking it's funny" yet :)
And yes, if you haven't all gotten together for chocolate tonight...I could really use a chocolate night tomorrow.
Hey, if a chocolate night happens anytime in the near future, I want to be in on it!
Ooops, I just noticed over 6 hours later that I said 'know' not 'now'... should help explain my state of mind, sorry.
Ladies--I'm hearing that we all need a chocolate night. Let's do it! What and where?? :)
OK, first of all that security guard seriously had some cop envy issues. Is dancing around singing "limbo, limbo, limbo" such a security breech. Gabe is a little boy who has been stuck in that horrible waiting room. Poor kid. Poor you!!!!! I'm glad you survived. I am also proud of you.
I think Hell is spending eternity in the SS office waiting room. I think a bunch of government officials got together and decided to conduct an experiment on the american people. See how far you could push people before they could crack. A bunch of people in an uncomfortable waiting room, long wait time, and overly complex numbering system, ridiculous paperwork, lack of information, and a security guard with an inflated ego, and everyone at least once in their life has to go there. And all payed for by who? All the people in the waiting room. I love the government!
Could've been worse. Could've had sporadic, explosive diarrhea too.
Drew, you always know how to find the silver lining!
before i read this i was contemplating taking our kids when kris and i both go to get our washington driver's licenses...but you're right, maybe it would be easier if we did a trade!!! p.s. people are obnoxious sometimes--the other day i passed a couple of guys that were coming out of the grocery store as i was coming in and my girls were being a little wild. i jokingly said, "i have too many kids." no joke, one of the guys said, "then you shouldn't have had any of them." what the what?
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