Ok, I know (from other people) that my take on Christmas is a little different. So, I'm going to explain it all right now.
I don't really decorate. In fact, my dear friend (and blogstalker - I know you're reading this!) gave me a 4 foot prelit tree 2 years ago b/c I refused to get one. I also don't care if I ever decorate cookies or make a gingerbread house or get a new ornament every year or anything like that. My kids don't believe in Santa. Yep, you heard me.
But I'm not the Grinch.
I also like to have a very small Christmas. My kids get their stockings filled and then one present from their parents. Just one. On a personal level, I enjoy receiving gifts, but I'd be fine with not exchanging Christmas gifts ever. Andy and I rarely do it.
But I'm not Scrooge.
I just hate shopping. All year long. For anything. Christmas is harder, of course, because of the sheer number of presents which is also the number of lists you have to bully out of your loved ones. And believe me, I need a list. I am a very sucky present picker. I forget the names of all the loved ones Andy, my kids, and me drew. So, that's one part. Another part is that kids stop paying attention after opening about 3 presents. The rest is wasted on them. And my family is large, so they get tons of presents anyway.
Here's the thing: I LOVE Christmas! The whole Christmas season! Boy, now I really sound like the Grinch. The POST heart-growing-3-sizes Grinch. I don't feel any less Christmas spirit without a tree or lights or cookies or Santa. I feel just as happy and excited and Christmasy as anyone else. I am not actively opposing those Christmas trappings1; I enjoy them when they are here. I admire them. I just don't need them. I usually opt out b/c I'm the kind of person who will leave them up until July. Ugh. But my kids are asking for some, and I'm happy to oblige.
And about Santa: Two-fold reason I didn't encourage my kids to believe. One: I cannot maintain the amount of elaborate lying it would take to keep Charlotte from finding out the truth. The kid has mad questioning skills, and she doesn't miss one detail. So, as soon as she started asking how the Santa-elf-Walmart system went down, I just told her the truth. She didn't care. And I mean not one little bit. She thought it was a little weird that people tried to make people believe it's real, but she didn't have a negative reaction to the news. This was maybe 2 years ago. So, we read the Saint Nicholas legend and talked about how the tradition came about and how we will still play it every year because it is fun. And don't worry - I told her Santa is a grown-up secret that only grown-ups can tell kids. She's down with it2.Second: I felt like I really struggled feeling as excited about Christmas after I knew there is no Santa. It was probably college before I was able to disassociate all the Santa cheer from the holiday and enjoy the actual meaning of Christmas. Yeah, yeah. People say they really do love the true meaning of Christmas, but I'm telling you. That excitement generated by a real Santa comes crashing down as soon as the truth is known, and it is hard to ever feel that excited again. I really want my kids to have a shot at feeling the real Christmas spirit every year, so that the revelation about Santa will never happen and crush their Christmas expectations. Am I making sense?
Let me reiterate: my kids appear to be EXACTLY as excited about Christmas as every other kid. They talk about Santa Claus and reindeer and stockings and whatnot. They know it's a game, but apparently, that makes no difference to the anticipation. So there. Without presents and Christmas lights and cookie presents, Christmas comes just the same. So there.
Na hoo doray.
1Except for the year that my friend bought the tree. But I'd had a baby 6 days before Christmas, and there was NO WAY that I was messing with that crap in my ninth month! Or cleaning it up after! But I am grateful b/c I love my little tree.
2She was MORE down with it before Kindergarten. Her teacher is spinning tales, and Char wants to believe her. You know how your teachers know way more than your parents. I set her straight.
9 comments:
YES!! I'm not going to perpetuate the whole Santa thing either! The girls are with me when I buy all the presents! I can't keep it up either. Its so hard to tell people that. They sort of look at me like I'm evil. Its one of those topics where people really judge you for! I have seriously gotten some MEAN looks from people. And then they get that judgmental voice, "well, I'm probably going to play up the whole Santa thing." Its so dumb! My take is similar to yours, but also I don't want to have them put faith in this imaginary being for years and then "sorry, Santa's not real" because then "what else is not real?" "God?" I'll have to remember the whole grown-up secret thing to tell Naomi when she starts questioning more. I don't want her to be the bad kid spreading the news - and then I get the calls!
As for the decoration thing, I'm the opposite. I don't think I need them to feel Christmas-y, but I LOVE decorating (as you know) so I can't help myself! I have to put rules and guidelines for myself as to when I am allowed to put decorations up so they aren't up too early. But I also have rules for when to take stuff down because it is WRONG to leave stuff up to July or even February! WRONG! I get very angry! So I am glad that you realize you would leave them up and then handle it as necessary.
One more thing, DO NOT DECORATE FOR CHRISTMAS BEFORE HALLOWEEN!!!! Come on people!!
your christmas spirit is in the right place. and its funny. really funny. i laughed again and again every time I read or think about you and christmas because 1- you dont decorate and you have kids
2-your kids already know what they are getting for christmas and charlotte tells you this
3-you have an ugly ornament exchange every year
4-you hate shopping all year INCLUDING christmas stuff- who hates shopping for other people???? at christmas!!
5-you compare yourself to the grinch and scrooge
i love your christmas spirit-not joking-i really do
Jen you have your priorities straight. I hate all the craziness of Christmas even though I love the holiday. You are doing just fine.
i have not had the time to sit down and read my blogs, but of course, i had some time because i wasn't having it at the ward party....anywho..i have read your most recent posts and can i just say how much i love you. you are very wise, in a whole lotta ways. thanks for starting a blog.
So I don't remember finding out Santa didn't exist. I have no recollection of that moment, no idea how old I was when I realized he wasn't real. Clearly, it didn't leave a lasting effect and I just went on loving Christmas and pretending that Santa was a really cool guy.
If I had kids, I would probably do the Santa thing, simply because I love EVERYTHING about Christmas. But I wouldn't go so far as to have someone dress like Santa and put presents under the tree. Does that make sense?
Are you going to carve the Roast Beast this year?
i feel you on a lot of this. i try to keep Christmas small so my kids can be more focused on the true meaning of Christmas and then they get bombarded with gobs and gobs of stuff from other sources. (not complaining, just...i'm not sure.) anyway, good for you for keeping it simple.
I NEVER decorate for Christmas. Never ever. My mother-in-law sent us (small) Christmas trees in the mail 3 years in a row because she was so scandalized that I wouldn't put up a tree for her baby. It wasn't that I refused to, at least at first, it was just a time/energy/desire thing...but now it's kinda just my own personal version of contrary. After the years of trees in the mail, I feel no need. Bah humbug. (Christmas itself, though, I love. just not felt reindeer on my dinner table) (no disrespect to anyone with felt reindeer on their dinner tables.)
Just so you know, I understand how you feel about Christmas and I am SOO excited that you guys are going to be at our house for Christmas eve! :D
P.S. I started my own blog. It's lame, but I started.
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