I'm only writing b/c I'm depressed, which means I can't think of anything to say, which means I'd never write again if I waited for something of interest. Depression makes EVERYTHING uninteresting. It is the ultimate bored feeling. Added to that is great irritability, overly sensitive and thus many crying spells, and the inability to care enough to make a decision on ANYTHING - dinner, tv shows, whatever.
I'll tell you exactly what I do all day: I wander from room to room in my house until I fall asleep on the couch or bed. The sleep isn't restful; I'm actually gripping my fists and scrunching my face the whole time. So, I stay tired physically as well as mentally and emotionally. My wonderful sister got me to the temple yesterday, so I had some rest from these feelings for a short time and just felt peace. The temple rocks like that. Plus, I was going through for a woman named Myrtle Pancake, which made me smile alot!
I HAVE been reading "The Scarlet Pimpernel." I really like it. It's a quick, fun read. Since I've read it before and seen the movie AND seen the musical (the musical sucked), I don't have to concentrate too hard to follow the plot. It's the book for the book club next month, and I am going to be the discussion leader. Don't ask me how that works - I haven't any idea. I ordered it online, but it hasn't arrived, so I'm reading it online for free. I don't particularly like reading off the computer screen, but I feel compelled to continue in order to be ready to be the discussion leader next week.
Ok, that's all the conversation I can drum up. My doctor is supposed to call me today, which I doubt will occur until tomorrow. The point is that these meds aren't working and I'm just getting worse, and going back to depression after such a long break is CRAPPY, and they better change my meds again. I'll go back to Lamictal, which worked great, as long as they give me an appetite suppressant so I don't gain more weight on it. Oh, and I eat like crap when I'm depressed, so everyone can just welcome back my lost three pounds; they have found their way home.
2 comments:
Hey, I just remembered two things I forgot to tell you. First of all I did finally make your enchiladas, they were good, but not as good as yours so I think I purchased an incorrect ingredient somewhere along the line. I'll try again sometime later. The second thing is that when Andy was here he said the sweetest thing that I told myself I had to remember to tell you, but that was like a month ago. But here is what he said - Could you imagine if I hadn't married Jen? I would NOT be happy! I thought that was super sweet. I don't know if Brian or I could say that about each other! Love you!
oh ick, depression does suck. I'm with you. Go back to the Lamaictal and and appetite suppressant. (can they do a combo with Wellbutran?)
Myrtle Pancake.
Wow.
THAT is a name.
I remember I was baptized for an Elizabeth Taylor. I was like 12 years old and thought it was THE Elizabeth Taylor. Until my mom finally told me she was still alive.
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