Ok, I'm pretty much sure it's depression I'm dealing with. For example, I am FORCING myself to write this post. I keep wandering around my house trying to find something to do. Everything I come up with, I say, "Ugh, I don't wanna do that," and I continue wandering. The only thing that sounds appealing is eating junk food - a sure sign of self-medication. Plus, as I'm trying to lose weight and I'm not even hungry, well, it's a big pointer to depression. I am sleeping a lot all of a sudden. I'm just completely uninterested in anything.
I don't feel sad, though. That isn't a common feeling with me and depression. Usually, it's anger, but not right now, thank goodness. I'm just fidgety and dissatisfied. And nothing is enjoyable.
Ok, aside from that, I'm good. ;) My kids are being really well-behaved, and if I nap, they just leave me to it.
Ok, I have to go now. I'm about to trash this whole post, and I can't let myself do that. I'm NOT going to eat junk food now; I'm going to take a nap. That's a nice, safe, non-self-destructive move. And I already called my doctor, so I just have to wait for a return call. Hopefully adjusting the meds will work.
3 comments:
I'm depressed too. I'm eating everything in sight which does more damage when you're already tipping the scales at 205. (It was 200 a month ago)It's midnight and I've been sitting here working on Madison' blog. I woke her up from a dead sleep to ask her what her school lunch number is b/c its her password. I sleep for only 2-3 hours at a time and I think I'm going crazy. Liz came over to hold Maryalice b/c I think I said something on the phone that scared her. I want to cry but I am emotionless. I'm just going to send this before I erase it as well. Death rules.
yea, you're def. in a down cycle. Glad you've called the doctor. Hopefully she'll either change your dosage or find something better. No reason to go on like this when a solution is just a phone call away. Sorry that it's been tough for the past couple of weeks :(
I am so glad you called your doctor. You are staying away from junk food. You are so strong. You are awesome. You will survive this. And I am so jealous you have kids that let you take a nap. Take as many naps as you need to.
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