Writing for therapy

I'm about to lose it. I'm writing purely out of self-help necessity. I feel really trunky. I want to run out the door and stay gone, but I have three beautiful little kids sleeping here. And instead of feeling blessed I feel tied down and lonely. I'm crying now. This is so CRAPPY. Everywhere I turn in this house I feel like I'm up against a wall. I can't read, I can't watch tv, I can't think of anything to say on the phone to anyone at all. It's all totally internal. I upped meds last night, so I have to wait a week or so for any results to exhibit themselves. Death rules.