I'm trying to be a fun mom

Which I actually am not so much, although I am a fun lady (at least when I am out having fun). I remember before having kids being very anxious and talking to Andy about how he needed to let the kids have fun and not be strict every second. He had some firm ideas. Turns out, he's really fun, and I'm strict and rigid about stuff. I'm trying to choose yes over no when my kids ask to do activities. I'm learning it isn't so painful, really.

I'm trying to build a happy memory bank to draw from when I can't remember or feel happy feelings. Today my kids and I sat on the couch with the tv off and read books. It was really fun. And I sat and read my book on the couch while they watched Scooby Doo. I love Scooby Doo. So do they, and that really thrills me.

Let me just say this: I like "Scooby Doo, Where Are You?" None of that Scrappy or "A Pup Named Scooby Doo" or any of that crap.

Back to the topic at hand: learning to be fun. What has actually helped is moving the kids clothes from my room to the upstairs hall closet. They are pretty pumped and scamper off to dress themselves and put away their clothes. It puts them upstairs away from the tv so they get interested in their own toys more often. So they are less bored. So they are less whiny and pestery. So I am more fun. Also, I am really trying to eat lunch at the table with them. I hate that. I hate going to the park, I hate going to the zoo, and I hate sitting at the table and eating lunch with the kids. It is pure torture. I don't know why. Maybe because I would like to take two bites together without some long explanation for some weird question ("Who builds trees?") or to settle some dispute or give directions to not use fingers and wipe up the spill and sit on your bum and clear your spot... endless. And I already do it at dinner. But I don't eat breakfast with them, so I figure I should do lunch. They like it, and so I am more fun.

Next more fun item: Gabe. He is at a really fun age. I get a huge kick out of him. Even his naughtiness has become pretty amusing. He tries to talk and therefore reason with me. I don't understand a lot of it, so he cocks his head to the side and kinda throws his palms up like he's a little exasperated with the idiot grown-up. And recently he has started pretending to sleep when we are getting on to him. I mean, standing straight up in the middle of the floor, he all of a sudden closes his eyes and puts on this fake sleep face and fake sleep breathing and slowly lowers himself to a sleeping position on the floor. And he giggles a lot when he gets in trouble, so that is better than screaming, yes? Anyway, that lightens the load.

So, I'm more tired by the end of the day, but I feel like it is more worthwhile and that I am feeling happier. That's big for me, folks. Happy doesn't come often, and when it does, it doesn't stick around long.