Okay, so y'all remember a couple posts back when I was saying how I horrorize my kids' and husband's deaths, funerals, and burials? I got a lot of me-too's on the death, and a lot of um-crazy's on the detailed drama of the funerals. I mentioned this in the course of my shrink appt., and, as it turns out, that is something of a warning bell. Who knew? I mean, besides you folks.
Since I've had that sort of thinking my whole life, sometimes it is hard to see when it crosses over to crazy. But the idea that this new med can squash those thoughts is a happy surprise, so we are giving it a shot.
Just so's ya know, I feel like I look crazier on paper than in real life. Meaning, when I was filling out the standard mood checklist I get everytime I go to the psychiatrist, I kept making sidenotes by the checkboxes b/c I thought it all looked a little extreme. Example: "Do you often have thoughts of suicide or death?" "X = yes" "BUT, not my own, so, it's not that big a deal." I was trying to look less severe, but I think it upped the crazy a little. He he he. That's pretty comical. I think the Rate 1-5 lists are easier, but even then I'm throwing out decimals. "Have you experienced unusual increase or decrease in appetite?" "Increase - 3.5. But I was PMSing." Why can't I just leave it alone? I just need to add an "-ish" box next to all the answers. OH, and I always think it's funny when they ask about sex drive, which they always term "libido," which makes me think "lambada," which makes me not take it seriously. Which doesn't help that my instinct is to check the "Mind your own" box. Except I'm pretty sure that it is in the realm of the shrink's own. Business, not libido.
Plus, also, and, I am giving contacts a shot. Yep, I'm blind, but not really so much as I thought. Slightly near-sighted with some astygmatism crap that makes letters look like numbers and whatnot.
And I had bloodwork done today so we'll see what results from that. Now I just have to get my hearing tested next week and I can be over this healthy doctor crapola.
Incidentally, I shower damn near daily now. Do not ask me what is up. We all know that anti-hygiene is my depression friend. Mania, prob. Also, I am cleaner in the summer for the obvious reasons of sweat and shaving.
5 comments:
You make me smile!!
I would LOVE to see your test answers ... I know, I know, Doctor / Patient confidentiality - but I am assuming that they are rather amusing!
Kudos on working on 'this healthy doctor crapola' ... and the showers!
Oh! And I like the angry little 'smiley' dude with the sign - I wanna get me one ...
I would demand a "so what?" box and I would check that one every single time. That's right, no apologies.
When I went to the counselor they made me do all those questions on the computer. There was no room for decimals or explanations. But then when I saw the guy he reasked me all the questions! I was so grateful because then I could explain why I wasn't crazy but I had to check yes on almost everything.
Congrats on the hygiene. I had to fill out so many checklists for Ethan, different but still I know what you mean. I found myself doing the same kind of explanation thing.
I do not think you are crazy at all. One person's crazy is my dear friend.
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